Radical | A stranger things story

9: On My Own

TW: DRUGS/OD

He makes a confused expression, and I walk downstairs. Billy follows close behind me, and I see my mother sitting on the couch with a wine bottle in her hand.

"Did you go through my room?" I ask.

My mother looks at me and puts the bottle down. She stands and grabs a box. She walks over to me and dumps everything in it all on the ground in front of me. I see a bunch of different pills, weed, and cigarettes.

"What is this?" My mother questions.

"I don't know," I respond.

"You're a fucking liar. Why was this shit in your room?" she accuses.

I rub my eyes and turn around to look at Billy.

"You can just go," I say.

"No, your little boy toy can stay to hear how much of a disappointment you are. What's he doing here anyway? I thought you were at his house? You're sneaking boys in through windows now?" she interrogates.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh.

"They're not mine. I don't know what to tell you," I say.

"Not yours? You expect me to believe that shit?"

"Mom, I don't know how that got in my room, and to be honest, I don't really fucking care-" I start.

She slaps me across the face and I look at her in disbelief.

"I don't know how they got into my room. Why do you even care? You have never been a parent to me. I'm the one who takes care of Mateo, not you. Let me tell you something, I do a pretty great fucking job at doing it. I take Mateo to school then I go to school. Then, when I come home, I wait for him at his bus stop and walk him back here. I do that every day! Where are you? I feed Mateo, I make sure he brushes his teeth, I make sure he takes a bath, I make sure his hair is combed, and what do you do?" I hiss.

"Don't you dare-" she starts.

"WHERE DO YOU GO?" I yell.

She stays silent.

"Don't make me repeat my question. Where do you go?" I demand.

"You want to know? I go see other men. Men that give me a break from you guys!" she shouts.

"Other men..." I trail off.

"Yes," she hisses.

"So while Mason was struggling, you were seeing other men? You cheated on dad?" I gulp.

She loses her confidence and remains silent as tears come to her eyes.

"Is that why dad left?" I quaver.

"Y/N..." she starts.

I glace at Billy and see his hands shaking, and he has an angry expression on his face.

"Mason went through all of that because... he knew... didn't he?" I tremble.

My mother starts to cry in front of me and opens her arms for a hug. She slowly walks toward me, but I push her.

"Mason overdosed on purpose, didn't he? And he did it because of you!" I shout.

"It's not my fault!" she screams.

I start to see spots in my vision. This can't be happening.

"I just wanted to confront you about the drugs because I didn't want you turning out like him," she sighs.

I think back to everyone who has been in my room that could've possibly put them in there. Billy? No, he wouldn't do that.

Jenny.

"That fucking bitch!" I yell.

"What?" Billy questions.

"It was Jenny that put the drugs in my room. She came to me at school and apologized for what happened. She then came over to my house, and we hung out. I only let her hang out because she said she wanted to make it up to me. I actually had fun, and then when I stepped away to go to the bathroom, she put the drugs all over my room," I say, piecing everything together.

"Who's Jenny?" my mother asks.

"This girl at my school punched me, and we fought. If you were here more, you would've known," I spat.

"She punched you? I'm going to call the school-" my mother starts.

"You won't do shit. Everything you say or do is bullshit. Your apologies? Bullshit. Your guilt-tripping? Bullshit. Your parenting? Bullshit. You? Bullshit!" I fume.

I start to sob. Not a sad sob, an angry sob. 

"You left Mason when he needed you! My brother is gone because of you! Amara left because of you! Janiyah left because of you! Dad left because of you! I am stuck here all by myself taking care of Mateo because you can't take a hint to get better," I scream.

I put my hands over my face and cry into them. I take deep breaths as I hear my mother sob. I take a minute to calm down a bit and then remove my hands from my face.

"You failed as a parent," I state.

"I know. I'm so sorry. I'll try to get better," she cries.

She walks over to me and cups my face in her hands. She pulls me into a hug, and I can't help but sob.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"No, you're not," I say.

"I am. You're my daughter, and I love you," she cries.

"Bullshit," I say, pulling away. "You always leave us when we are at our lowest. I needed you. Mateo needs you."

"No, it's not bullshit. I never realized," she excuses.

"You won't change. You are going to leave again, and it will hurt Mateo. I got used to it, he hasn't. Did you know Mateo gets bullied at school? No, you didn't because you are never here!" I yell.

She cries and shakes her head. 

"I don't need you. I'm going to get a job and save up for Mateo and me. Once I have enough money, I'm taking your ass to court. I will become his guardian, and he will live with me somewhere else. I will do the job you were supposed to do from day one. I will feed him, make sure he is doing good in school, and show him a better life than this shithole," I state.

She cries, and I turn around and walk to the beginning of the stairs. 

I turn my head to the side and look at her feet.

"Lawyer up, asshole."

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Hey guys! This is a pretty heavy chapter and I'm sorry for that! Not going to lie, it was kind of a rant chapter. Again, sorry for making it so heavy and the next chapter should be a bit more light. Remember to drink water and I love ya! - C