A Sound from the Moon

Twenty One

For the first time, I don't get bothered when the members tease me about Chan. It almost feels real. The butterflies fly higher than ever. I smile with a warm feeling running through my veins. Is this how it feels like to have a family? One where I get back home to a warm dinner without having to worry about bills.

A family that does not leave but rather comes closer to me. They actually care.

I no longer have to eat alone. I no longer have to be tired each morning or night and no one will hear my tears. I have a family that sees right through me and doesn't push my emotions away. They teach me to break down the walls so I can see someone like Chan. Someone who sees more in me. Someone who says I'm enough...

I don't want to go back. If I don't make it through this training, I will lose everything. I can't lose them. They're all I have for a normal life. Something worth singing for.

I enter training with a new perspective. I don't care if Dan is around. I ignore his smirk and the teasing chuckles coming from his friends. I move on for my friends. They're counting on me.

I do it for my mother, too.

"Yerim."

I look up at the sound of the instructor approaching me. He has a smile that makes his cheeks puff up and his eyes smaller. "You've been selected to move onto the next phase of your training. Let's work on your singing skills now."

"Wait seriously?!" I excitedly get up from stretching and stop myself from hugging him when he gives me a nod. "That's amazing! Thank you!"

"Hopefully, it won't take you long to master singing skills and group cooperation."

"I will do my best," I say as I follow him towards the group of people advancing.

"No," he says with a sudden firm look. "I want you to be your best."

I'm pushed towards a group of trainees where Joy usually goes to. She must be done in a few weeks now and I will take her place. I'm too excited to notice that Dan is part of this group. He's too cocky to even listen to the instructor as he explains this new section of our training. Basically we'll be in studios as if we were recording music. Luckily, there isn't much group work here so I don't interact with Dan.

As soon as we walk through a new set of doors, it's a hallway filled with different rooms. Each section has their own area of expertise. Dance, group cooperation, modeling, and vocals. I didn't know modeling is part of training, too. I think I'll be okay with that one.

Joy sees me from a group inside the modeling room. She gives me a sweet wave and I return it with an excited smile. Her eyes then fall on someone else in the group and frowns. I'm assuming it's Dan. The last thing I see is her pointing at Dan and saying things to a group of girls. I hope she doesn't do much damage from the surprised looks on her friends.

I smile wide as they lead me to my own studio room. This is too cool. I can't wait to do this with the other members. They tell us of the rules and objectives for this section. I want him to talk faster so I can begin already. But when the time comes, nerves makes my stomach flip and my hands turn clammy.

I'm best in dance. I don't know about singing.

I wish I could look for any of the members. I wish Joy was here. But this is a closed room with my own vocal instructor looking through a large glass wall. He gives me a firm nod and looks at the man sitting in front of a large table with a machine similar to what I've seen in the music store for DJs. I swallow and push down my nerves. I let my heart go numb so I can start singing the song they chose for me.

I love this song actually. I told them I could sing in English and they've chosen a song I did on my last dance recital. I close my eyes and pretend like my heart is dancing as my lips turn into the music for its melody. I smile at the sound of the piano and melt away. I can see my mother smiling with her hair grown out and healthy shining eyes. I see the members smiling proudly at me. I see Chan with his sweet smile showing off dimples on his gentle face I wish to hold...

My heart races. It jumps high with the climax. I pretend to be on that stage my mother wishes to see me on. The stage I've escaped to. It will always be the world I wanted to be in.

The walls break down at the end of each piano note. I repeat the words I wish my father could have said to me instead of goodbye.

Always...

I open my eyes and fall back to the truth. Reality is like a slap on the face but not this time. I fall lightly and softly. I see Joy standing by the producer with the large headphones like the ones I'm wearing. She gives me a warm smile and a thumbs up. The man with the clipboard finishes talking with the DJ man and then presses a button on the table.

"Yerim? Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

He is serious as his dark eyes burn through me. Even Joy seems nervous for what his first impression was of me. But he slowly lets a smile start on his lips and says, "Well done. We have work to do, but I can tell I won't be seeing you for very long. I want to work on solo vocals this week and then we can start working with your group."

Joy covers her mouth with wide eyes and she celebrates. I can't hear her but my heart flies with her happiness. I giggle and softly say, "Thank you, sir!"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Yerim."

I step out of the studio and Joy is already waiting for me to give me a big hug. I laugh at her happiness as I hear her say, "I can't wait! In no time, we'll be on stage together! You'll love it! Just you wait!"

For once, my nerves of my future under spotlight fades away at the feeling of her arm around my shoulders.

I will be my best. Always.