A Sound from the Moon

Twenty Six

The music from my heart plays with me throughout the time the Blackpink members arrive. I keep getting dazed and spaced out with the memory of Chan's sweet smile. I wish he was here. I wish I could giggle with a reason rather than doing it alone with just his memory.

But Irene is quick to slap me back to reality. She snaps her fingers in front of me once with her firm expression and I quickly stand to "help." I'm not much help. Jisoo pretty much took up most of the work with Irene while Seulgi and Rose were their helping partners. Joy is in our room with Lisa and Jennie. Wendy is organizing the dinner table so I join her instead of awkwardly standing there. She smiles when I approach her and start folding the napkins.

"Hey," she gently says. "You okay?"

"Hm? Yeah. Why?"

"You seem...a bit dazed. Is everything okay with your mom?"

I hesitate whether I should tell her how I feel about Chan. The first guy they ever experienced with me was a rip off. They warned me and I didn't listen. Did they even hear me when I let out words my heart has been listening to earlier today?

So I keep quiet for now for my sake. I'm still not certain if it means anything. I've learned that I'm very naive when it comes to these things. I have to focus on my career just as my mother said, too.

I give Wendy a small smile and say, "I haven't really talked to her. I've been so busy working and training."

"I'm sure she understands."

I scoff. "I hope she does. I'm doing this for her..."

My own words are like a punch in the gut. I feel guilty for what I've said and how true it feels. But I can't help letting it out with someone who is so understanding. Wendy lets her expression soften and she gives me a reassuring smile. "It'll be okay. Remember that we can help you out, too. You're not alone in this anymore."

I give her a nod and let her words cushion the fall my heart does at the memory of my mother. I should call her soon. I must be the worst daughter in the world.

Soon, Irene enters with Jisoo carrying trays of food. When Seulgi calls out, "food's ready!" the rest of the girls come in with excited expressions. Jennie is quick to serve everyone's cups and the room fills with different conversations. Who would think that two pop bands would be best friends? I always thought this career as the competitive type.

But everyone laughs with each other. They share little hugs and smiles. It feels like a family reunion. If this is what a family reunion looks like.

"So you must be Yeri," Jennie says with dark eyes on me now. She has the same scary look I thought Seulgi had until they smile and they become like sweet children. "I'm sorry for the first impression you had of me that night. I swear I'm not always like that."

"Not always," Rose playfully says. "Just sometimes."

"Rarely!" Jennie says with wide eyes. The rest on the table share a small laugh and I quietly join.

"It's okay. It's nice to meet you, Jennie."

"Wendy was telling us you come from the States?" Rose now asks with her quiet expression.

"Yes. I grew up in the States but I was born in this country."

"That's cool," Rose gently says. "So you must be good with English?" I nod and she smiles. "That's good. I was born in New Zealand and Jennie studied in New Zealand. That's why we have a little of the Aussie accent when we speak English."

I laugh at this. "That's cool! I have a friend that grew up in Australia! But he doesn't have much of the accent."

My heart flutters just at the memory of Chan and I let a small smile sneak it's way on my lips. Luckily no one sees as Wendy playfully says, "So we have exotic people on the table. Canada, America, and New Zealand."

"Don't forget the Alps," Seulgi playfully says as her eyes land on Joy. Joy gives her a quiet laugh when she understands her joke towards the infinite love Joy has for nature.

"Wait. Canada?" I say with furrowed brows. "Who grew up in Canada?"

Wendy lets her eyes grow wide at my question. "I thought I told you this! I grew up in Canada. Were you not listening?"

"I probably didn't. Sorry," I say.

"She was spaced out at the moment," Joy teasingly says.

When everyone shares a quick laugh, Wendy says, "Do you have any questions for our graduated trainees?"

Lisa and Joy look at me; waiting for my questions. I have a million. Many that they may never be able to answer.

Am I good enough?

But I instead say, "How do you pass?"

Lisa laughs at my question and Jisoo frowns at her after giving the back of her head a light hit. I laugh at this and Lisa's eyes grow wide. But Jisoo keeps a firm look as she says, "Don't laugh at her question."

"I'm sorry!" Lisa says with a cheeky smile. "It's just that it sounds like she's talking about school or something."

"It's not about passing," Joy says with a warm look. "It's about how long it takes for you to master the skills needed for SM. They will train you until you're ready to go on your own in this career."

I slowly nod at this information and suddenly feel weight fall onto my shoulders. Seulgi seems to notice this and I feel her hand give my hand a reassuring squeeze under the table. I give her a small smile as I hear Rose say, "Hey. But I hear you're already in the vocal section. I'm sure it won't be long until you're done, too."

"We'll have another celebratory dinner soon," Jennie says with a soft wink at me.

"Talking about celebration," Lisa now says. "Shall we complete dinner with a little soju?"

As if she's had it there all along, she takes out a bottle of soju from under her seat and some cheer while others only shake their heads with small laughs.

"Now we're celebrating," Wendy says as she helps opening yet more bottles Jennie brings out from under the table. Rose and Wendy start serving everyone. I watch as Irene gestures at Wendy for a small amount and she obeys. Seulgi has already drank up her first shot and gestures for another. Joy is next with Jisoo and Lisa.

Finally, Rose stops at me and says, "You can't drink yet, right?" I shake my head with a small smile and she pours me more of the mint juice that she made in the kitchen. I give her a thankful smile after she gives me a sweet wink as she pours herself a cup of mint juice, too.

Wendy raises her shot cup and everyone quiets down. Her eyes shine with pride at Joy and Lisa who sit right next to each other. "To the future of our groups. May we represent our country through music. May our music lighten the world. May we become more than just an image. May we become the hope people need. To Red Velvet and Blackpink!"

Everyone cheers and my heart flies as I clap along. Joy and Lisa count to three and drink their shot together. Smiles are wide and eyes shine with happiness. I watch everything from the end of the table and the world turns silent. The world used to turn this silent all those times I thought my mother would die. The world was this silent when my father left.

But this is a new kind of silence. It's the silence my heart has when I'm with Chan. It's peace. I greet it without hesitation and let it wrap around me.

Of all the regrets in the world, I will never regret choosing this. Even if it means giving up whatever I had back home. This is a true family.

This is home.