A Sound from the Moon

Forty Two

I find myself on a plane back to San Francisco. It took a bit of convincing until the manager heard me cry and he let me go. He said to let him know how it goes. I don't even have strength to look at my phone right now.

The members sadly dropped me off at the airport. They each gave me heartfelt hugs and told me to hang on. But I feel so lost all of the sudden when I get on a taxi and got to the hospital. I ask for my mother and get the news that she just got out of surgery.

So I quietly sat in the waiting room with a throbbing head. It feels like I'm back home, waiting and waiting. Nurse Lily came in at one point and I gave her a tight hug.

"Hey, kiddo. It's nice to see you again. How are you? When did you arrive?"

"Just a while ago," I said. "How's my mom? What happened?"

Nurse Lily gave me a sad look and guided me back to the chairs. She told me the story of her puking blood. She told me that she was resurrected several times on the surgery table. She then let her eyes fall and said, "I'm so sorry, Yerim. There isn't much we can do now, hun. She's too weak from the surgery so we can't do another surgery to help relieve the ulcers. We have to wait for now and see how she does."

I swallow down a choking sob and nod. "Can I see my mom?"

"Sure. Follow me."

I find myself in front of my mother now. She looks skinnier than before. She's more pale. Her cheek bones stick out and pain has been embedded on her expression now. Beads of sweat fall down from her temples and I can't hold in my sob anymore. I gently take her cold hand and quietly let out that suffocating sob.

"Mama...Don't go...Fight a little longer please..."

Something within me tells me that her silence is her answer to my words. She's too tired. She's had enough. She's ready to give up...

I sob for a long time at these thoughts. I suddenly feel lonely. It's so cold here. My shaking bones hurt and I wrap my arms around myself. I long for the members for a moment, but I take a deep breath to take a break from crying.

Numbness replaces my sobs now. It's been hours and she hasn't woken up. I check the time on my phone and see that it's back to the American timeline. I let out a sigh and close my eyes.

This has to be a dream. Why can't I wake up from it? For once I want to wake up from this ongoing dream and go back to normal. Why can't I be as happy as I was just yesterday?

I look up at the sound of footsteps. Our neighbor, Jade, comes in with a sad smile. "Yerim. It's so nice to see you again. The Thompsons just told me about the ambulance and I ran here."

"Hello, ma'am," I weakly say. "Thank you for all your help."

She gently sits by my side and her eyes stay on my mother. She swallows down tears as she whispers, "What will happen now?"

My lips quiver at the question my heart has been asking for the past seven hours. "You think she's strong, right? She's been fighting for this long. She can't give up now."

She gives me a sad smile and runs a hand down my head. "Eventually, everything will be okay. One way or another, it'll be okay."

I shake my head as I let out small tears. "She's the only family I have. I can't lose her. I'll be all alone. I won't have anyone. I won't have a family anymore."

These words make a sob come out of my mouth and she gives me a small side hug. But her hug is not like the warm ones I get from the members. How I wish I could have one of their hugs right now...

Jade eventually leaves and I'm left alone with a throbbing head. My eyes tiredly turn heavy and as I'm about to let my eyes rest for a moment, Nurse Lily puts a gentle knock on the door.