A Sound from the Moon

Thirty Five

I hate myself for staying silent. When my heart wants to sing, I keep my mouth closed. There's distorted melodies that I can't seem to understand and find a song to. That's why I'm slapped back to reality when Chan nervously scratches the back of his neck at my surprise.

"I-I mean if you would like to. It doesn't have to be anytime soon. Just whenever you're free because you're always busy with your music stuff and your mom...And I get it! I understand, but I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime soon? Maybe?"

"Um..." Why is it suddenly so difficult to speak? I can't seem to form any word! I clear my throat and say, "Yes. I mean we have to hang out soon. We did say that before, right?"

His smile turns small at my words and I kick myself for it. It's too late now. Chan does a small nod and softly says, "Right...we'll hang out soon." He seems to shake his disappointment away and gives me a warm smile as if I had not just broken his heart. "How are you? Everything okay? Let me know and I can set you at the convenience store. It's easier there."

My heart melts at his kindness even if my words have just stabbed him. I give him a warm smile and nod. "I'm okay. I'm just a little worried about my mom and training in general. But I'll be okay."

"She can't have the surgery yet, huh?"

I shake my head. "I need just a bit more money and we'll be set."

Chan puts a soft hand on my arm. My heart skips a beat as I watch him look around to see if anyone is listening. Then he softly says, "What about your music career? Don't you get paid for each album or concert?"

I sadly shake my head. "A trainee doesn't get paid until they debut. I'm basically towards the the last stage of training with my group already. When I debut, I get paid with each concert but we split 10% of the total earnings among the members. Apart from that, I have to pay the debts I owe SM for housing and training."

I suddenly frown at the facts of my own career. It feels like I'm in college. Chan's eyes are wide at my explanation and he does a small scoff. "So you're saying you'll be in debt for...years?!"

"In a way we're all in debt. The members still need to pay off for their training years. Luckily I only have to pay for the few months I've been training and then housing. It is like college actually. College in America."

Chan does a small laugh. "Wow. What a rip off."

"Hey!" I give his arm a playful slap. "I love what I do and the people I do it with."

"It'll all be worth it in the end, Yeri. Until then...let me help."

I scoff. "How?"

He gives me a wink before helping a customer. "It's payday today."

Yes! Payday!

At the end of closing the shop, I go up to Chan who gives out everyone's payroll in an envelope. I smile at his gentle concentration making his brows furrow lightly. The man in front of me in line gives him a thankful bow and Chan sweetly returns it. Then the man turns to me and gives me the same reaction all my coworkers give me. A wide smile with shining eyes to my presence.

"Have a good night, young lady."

"Thank you, sir." I give him a bow before it's just me and Chan in the shop. He writes a small note on my envelope and then hands it to me with his smile showing off dimples.

Don't forget to shine brighter each night.

I chuckle at his note and give him a hug. "Thank you, Chan."

"No worries, Yeri. I gave you a little extra this time for your mom. My treat."

My heart melts while my stomach flips. "Oh, Chan...No it's okay. You don't have to do that. It's not fair to the others that work as hard."

"Hey. It's from my payroll. Don't worry." He puts a hand on my shoulder and my heart flutters.

"Chan..." I'm left speechless at his kindness. Tears want to overwhelm me again and I scoff when I find myself fighting then back.

Chan puts a warm hand on my cheek and his eyes shine with this warm tenderness. He gives me a reassuring nod making my heart soar. I can't help it. I tip toe and give his cheek a kiss.

His eyes are wide this time. He seems to hold his cheek when I pull away as if it were left sizzling.

"Chan...you are the sun. What would I do without?"

Chan's expression softens as he takes a careful step closer. We are alone here. For once, everything makes sense and everything is very quiet. No one can pull me back. Not even my mother...

His eyes fall on my lips and my heart gets ready for that risky flight.

A breath slips in my lips as Chan closes the distance...

But the sound of my phone makes me jump back. My heart pounds as I look at my phone and then at Chan. A blush makes him red as he nervously clears his throat and steps back. For once, I hate that one of the members are calling me. But I push the disappointment to the side just as he did with me and give him a warm smile.

"I have to go."

"Yeah! Um...have a good night. Text me when you get home."

I give him a wave that hides my disappointment. He gives me a smile that hides his sadness. And we orbit away from each other all over again until the next eclipse.