Only You

Chapter 80: Flashback

"Nick!" Dan called out. "Nick!" he raced down the sidewalk from the neighborhood park and ran into his brother's arms.

Nick felt the strength of his brother's squeeze and couldn't wait until the day he could take him home. He ran his hands through his brother's hair and knew, by the shaking of his body, that Dan was crying.

"Hey, little guy." He kissed Dan's head. "Hey, bud. How are you?"

When Dan lifted his head from Nick's chest, he was sobbing. "Do I get to go home with you yet?"

Control yourself, Nick told himself as his throat tightened. With a weak smile, he whispered, "Not yet, buddy, but real soon."

"No!" Dan shook his head frantically. "No, Nick. I want to go home with you. Please. Don't leave me."

Nick took him into his arms, holding him as closely as he could. "Don't worry, buddy. You're going to come home with me real soon. Real, real soon. But I need you to be strong until then. Alright. Can you do that?"

Nick took Dan by the shoulders, coming face-to-face with him. "Can you do that for me? I can't see you like this, kid. You're breaking my heart." He gently put his fist to Dan's face.

Tears continued rolling down Dan's face, but he wiped them away quickly.

"You're the reason I'm doing everything, buddy. I just haven't got everything set up yet. We have to wait a little longer."

"I can help you set everything else up."

"I wish it worked like that, but it doesn't bud. I would have loved your help."

"I miss you, Nick. Nothing's the same without you. I'm alone all the time."

"Come here, kiddo."

Dan walked into Nick's arms feeling defeated. Closing his eyes, Dan tried to memorize the feeling of security being in his brother's arms for later when he wouldn't be with him.

"Listen, Dan, you can't be upset like last time, alright. I didn't tell anyone I was coming to visit you, and I don't want them to make a big deal about it. Alright?"

"Alright."

"I mean it, Dan. I want to be able to visit you again like this, but we have to make sure it doesn't become a problem. Alright?"

"I understand."

"I got you something." Nick let go of Dan and reached into his pocket. "In case you ever need me, or just feel like you need to talk to me. It doesn't matter what time. Even if it's in the middle of the night, call me, buddy."

Dan took the new flip phone he was being handed and nodded his head. "Thanks, Nick."

"Of course, kid."

Dan carefully held the flip phone as it was the only comfort he had, knowing he had an instant connection to his brother.

"Why don't I get you some ice cream before I got to go."

Dan shook his head, his stomach already feeling uneasy with knots at the thought of Nick having to leave. "I don't really want ice cream right now."

Nick swallowed at the sight of Dan trying to control his tears again. "Dan."

He looked at the ground.

"Danny, look at me."

He looked at his older brother with a quivering lip.

"We're going to be okay, kid. I promise you. I'm going to make sure of it." His hands came to hold Dan's face. "You hear me. I know it's hard right now, but soon I'm going to take you home where you're going to have your own room and bed. We'll decorate it however you want."

Dan nodded but couldn't stop himself from crying. Nick took him into another hug, questioning if visiting his brother was a good idea or if he was just making everything harder for him.

Nick woke up in a cold sweat after reliving the past in his sleep.

He reached for his phone and saw it was early Tuesday morning. He opened his text messages and looked at the one he had received from Richard yesterday morning, only several hours ago.

Nick lost count of the number of times he already read the text that told him he had been laid off. He couldn't grasp that it was done through text, but he settled on the idea that fact was fact. He was out of a job.

After getting the text, he spent the whole day looking for a nursing position. But, just like at the end of last year, there was nothing. He didn't know where to begin looking for another job. He thought of a grocery store, perhaps. It would be able to help hold him over for a bit, but it wouldn't be enough to cover the expenses he now had. He needed to find something.

Suddenly he was breathing quicker until he was gasping. He ran to his bathroom, flicked the bright light on, and splashed cold water on his face.

"Please, God," he whispered to himself. "Please," he cried out, feeling choked by the stress.

After fifteen minutes in the bathroom and breathing calmer, he went downstairs and made himself tea. His body was tired, but his mind was wide awake. Unsure where it left him with the thought of sleep, he set outside to the patio.

There was a full moon out and he found himself looking at it, remembering the last part of the day when he had visited Dan that his dream had not revealed.

"Hey, buddy. Remember what we share?"

Dan, crying again, had nodded.

"What? Tell me, bud."

"The sun and moon."

"Yeah, we do. As long as either is out, I'm thinking about you."

"One's always out, Nick."

"You're sure right."

Continuing to stare at the moon, he thought of the responsibilities he took on himself. He thought of the two people who were counting on him. The tension in his stomach increased and he felt sick.

His eyes shifted to the stars, and he instantly started thinking of Molly, and how much she loved the night for its stars.

He wondered if she was sleeping, and figured probably. If she wasn't though, he knew she was probably having a nice time with her friends which made him happy. It soothed his anxious mind, the thought of her enjoying. Laughing. Feeling good.

He had missed her, but he was glad she was away. She would have realized something was on his mind, and he didn't want her to know anything until he had it all under control again.

He looked back at the moon and thought of the woman who taught him about its kindness in connecting people. His mother, shortly before they had been separated, told him that whenever he felt alone or scared, and he could see the moon or sun, it meant that someone he loved was thinking about him and sending him all their love.

He had always been with the people he loved – his mom and baby Danny – up until that point. But he listened to what his mother had said just as carefully. It was like she had been preparing him for the defining moment a few weeks later when he could no longer stay in his home with the person who he had depended on for everything.