Unrequited | SB19 Stell [SB19 Series #3]

16

June 2021

Mhai’s POV

The thing about life is that no matter how horrible your current status is,  it just goes on. Life does not stop just because you cried your eyes out to the man you love. Life goes on no matter how bad you feel. The world will keep on revolving. The world will keep on spinning. The world will continue living even when you wallow in doubt and self-pity. It was like the universe does not care about me. The world continued to spin. The sun continued to rise and set. The stars continued to shine.

And I continued to hurt.

It sucks.

It has been four months since I last saw Lester. In those four months, he had been persistent. He kept on texting or chatting me, always asking how I was. He was always updating me on what he was doing- his activities with SB19 and their future plans. SB19 had received massive success with their MAPA single that there had been talks of a concert in the very near future.

Honestly, I was ecstatic for them. But of course he does not know that I'm happy for him and SB19. I have tried so hard to control myself from replying to his messages.

As much as I appreciate the gesture and his utmost concern about my well-being, hearing from him made everything hurt more.

I just wish he would not contact me.

I could unfriend him. I could block him on Facebook or delete his number. But then, I could not do it.

No matter how hurt I felt. Lester was still Lester.

He is still a part of my life.

And it sucked!!

It sucked more that today is his birthday. He was everywhere – in my Facebook timeline, in my Twitter feed, even in Youtube for crying out loud. The guy was everywhere! What should I do to escape him? Why can’t I escape him?

I pocketed my phone, frustrated that everything that I saw was about Lester and his birthday.

The frustration intensified as soon as I entered our street. A huge birthday sign was hung outside Lester’s house. Jusko. Kahit saan na lang.

I glared at Lester’s smiling face. Tita Mylene and Tito Jun were always so proud of Lester ever since. But really? A huge tarpaulin? In front of their house?

Not that it’s wrong, okay? I’m happy for SB19. I’m happy that Lester’s parents were able to launch their own mini grocery store. I’m happy that Tita Mylene, who used to moan to my mom about her worries on how to send Lester’s siblings to college, was now earning enough. There is nothing wrong with putting up a tarpaulin for her son’s birthday.

There was something wrong with me. There was something wrong with my feelings as soon as I saw that giant ass tarpaulin. There was something wrong with the way my heart raced and wrenched at the same time.

“Mhai!” Tita Mylene greeted me. She waved me over enthusiastically. Tita Mylene was definitely Lester’s mom. Lester got her unparalleled energy.

“Kain ka dito mamaya,” she coaxed. “Lester’s stopping by after their FB live with SB19. Dito daw sya matutulog. Syempre may handa kami. Matic na yan. Dito ka na mag hapunan ha?”

I inwardly groaned. Tita Mylene was on a roll.

I just blinked at her. What was I supposed to say? Saying no to her would be far too exhausting. Saying yes to her, however, would be taxing on my heart.

So, what do I choose?

“Sige na,” Tita Mylene persuaded when I did not answer her. “Sige na. Matagal na kayong di nagkikita ni Lester. Miss ka na nun.”