Unrequited | SB19 Stell [SB19 Series #3]

17

Stell's POV

Nakakainis!

I wanted to scream, and shout, and let it all out! Why? Why do I have to fall in love with my best friend? I wanted to bang my head on the nearest wall.

Better yet, bang my head on someone's head. Like maybe Mhai's.

Mhai was looking at me weirdly.

"Are you okay? You're staring," she said.

I blinked. I was not aware that I was already spacing out.

"I didn't realize that I was staring," I said evenly. I tried hard to control my voice. What if I get excited about my feelings? What if I mistakenly let her feel that I like her?

I shuddered. This would definitely not bode well. This would probably end tragically. This would end devastatingly. I just know it.

Or, a small voice chirped, there would be a very tinny, tiny possibility that this would end exactly like how I envisioned it to be- her in love with me. You just got to have faith, right?

I closed my eyes, frustrated at how my thoughts are playing at. I wanted to slap myself so hard and-

"Lester, you're spacing out. What's wrong?" Mhai was beside me, shaking me hard.

I wanted to throw my arms around her. But, I restrained myself.

"Stell, you okay, bro? You look frazzled," Paulo commented. Leave it to Paulo to use big words. I feel frazzled, too.

Paulo gestured for me to sit down on the couch. The boys gathered around me. Mhai followed suit. Jah handed me a glass of Pepsi while Josh gave me a cupcake.

"You've been zoning out on us. What's on your mind?" Josh asked, biting on a mango tart.

I shook my head. "I don't know. There's a lot on my mind right now," I said. Like my feelings for my best friend which I don't get. Why am I having these thoughts about her right now? Why was I losing my mind over her? I used to feel nothing about this girl. Like nothing.

Or was it nothing? Maybe I did feel something about her. It's just that I brushed it aside because of the usual bull "I don't want to lose our friendship" crap but I-

"Earth to Lester!" Mhai said.

"Sorry," I replied sheepishly. "Zoning out again."

"You need to tell us what you're thinking," Paulo said.

I just shrugged.

Mom then approached us with a plateful of cake slices. Paulo, Josh, Jah and Ken attacked the plate with gusto.

"Enjoy, boys," Mom said.

"Thanks, Ma," I replied. Mhai said nothing. She was looking at me- staring at me with those brown eyes of hers and I want to stare back at them all night long and-

"Lester," she said. And it brought me back to earth.

She shook her head and smiled a little. "You're acting crazy."

"I always act crazy," I replied.

"I second that," Justin said with a mouthful of cake.

"No, weirdly crazy. Like this isn't you," she clarified. Mhai cocked her head to the side. "Something's bothering you."

I smiled at her knowingly. She knows me too well.

"I think I need to clear my head."

She nodded. "You should get some rest," she advised. Like she knows. Like she understands.