:/ #82

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TW: Panic attack. If you are uncomfortable with that, skip this chapter.

It was late in the night. Curfew was in a few minutes, but you didn't really care. This was more important than going to sleep. 

You sat on the edge of one of the railings ends, with Bakugou in front of you, with his head resting on your chest. A million things were running through his head as he tried to figure out what he would say to Deku. 
Your hands were softly playing with his hair and gently scratched his scalp. You found that it helped keep him from losing himself to all the emotions and feelings that were trying to take over him. 

The two of you stood out there for a few minutes, in silence. Until you heard the doors to the dorms open, then close. You looked up and saw the messy green-haired boy cautiously walking down the stairs. 

You tapped Bakugou's head and motioned towards Deku when his head raised. He looked over, and his calm-ish face turned to an annoyed scowl. 

When Deku made it to the bottom of the stairs, he fiddled with his thumbs and gulped. "U-um, you said you wanted to talk about something." He stammered. 

You ran your fingers through the back of Bakugou's hair and whispered, "Try not to kill him." 

He turned back to the boy and replied, "No promises." 

"U-um. A-are you sure we should be out here? Curfew is coming up. Could we talk about this on the roof?" Deku asked, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Bakugou sighed, as you rolled your eyes. The blond put his hand on your thighs to push away from you and started to walk away from the dorms. The green-haired boy watched confused, then turned to you. "Um... does he-... are you coming?" 

You pointed in the direction Bakugou was walking. Deku sighed and hung his head. "Please don't let him kill me." He mumbled to himself before raising his head and following Bakugou. 

You watched as the boys walked out towards ground beta. Once they were out of view, you sighed and rested your arms on your knees, while holding your forehead. He needs this. You thought to yourself. He needs to talk to him. He's been bottling up all his thoughts and feeling ever since Camino. He's definitely been blaming himself for what happened to All Might. Even though it's not really his fault. If anyone is to blame, it's me. If I was stronger, then I wouldn't have been taken so early. Then I would have been able to help him. And he was probably worried if I was ok. If I hadn't been taken, he would have been focused, and he wouldn't have been taken. If I wasn't so tired, I would have been faster. I could have saved him. No one would have been hurt. All Might would still have his quirk. 

It's all my fault. If my mother didn't want me, none of this would have happened. If I had gotten my quirk earlier maybe she would have taken me instead of B/N. Then he wouldn't have had to live through her bullshit his whole life. And maybe dad would have been nicer to him than he was to me. Since it wouldn't have been his fault I was taken. Maybe if I got my quirk earlier. If I was stronger. If I was-... if I was easier to love, no one would get hurt. I wouldn't have hurt so many people. People would have been happier if I was just easier to love. If I was better. If only-

You were suddenly broken out of your thoughts when a hand was placed on your shoulder. You sucked in a breath through your nose, your head shot up, and you pulled your hands up ready to fight whoever was touching you. 

"Woah, Woah. Calm down." You whipped some of the tears that were fogging up your vision and saw that it was on Mr. Aizawa. 

You sighed and relaxed your hands, looking away from your tired teacher. It was at this point, that you had realized how hard it actually was to breathe. The thought caused more panic to flow through you, only making it harder to breathe. 

"Woah. Y/N, take some deep breaths." He started to rub reassuring circles on your back. Taking his advice, you took some deep breaths. In through your nose, and out through your mouth. After doing this for a little while, your breathing calmed down, and you felt a little bit calmer. 

"Here, jump down, so you can sit on something you can't fall off." He helped you off the square railing end, and onto the steps leading up to the doors of the dorms. 

You sat there with your head in your hands, while your elbows rested on your knees. You continued to take some deep breaths as you tried to get your previous thoughts to leave your mind, but they still lingered.

"None of this is your fault you know." Mr. Aizawa finally spoke up, breaking the silence. You looked up at him with a confused hum. "What happened at Camino, to All Might. It's not your fault." 

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." You turned your head and looked forward. 

"If I was only saying things to make you feel better, I would say that All Might loves his retirement." 

"Thanks." He chuckled softly. 

"What I meant was, it's not your fault your mother made the choices she did. It's not your fault she chose to join the League of Villians." He started. "It's not your fault she left.  It's not your fault you went through everything you did." 

You turned your head away from the tired teacher, hoping he wouldn't see the tears that started to build up in your eyes again. 

"You are strong enough." He placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to flinch a tiny bit. "Think about everything you've done. You got into UA on your own. You've opened yourself up to different people around you. You even opened yourself up to Mina, someone you seemed to hate at the beginning of the year. You've grown a lot." 

"Not really. I'm still the same bitch from middle school." You mumbled. 

"Because that's not what growth is." You turned to him confused. "Growth isn't changing who you are, or changing your personality. It's learning and adapting. Learning to let your guard down, and open yourself up to people. Learning that it's ok to fail occasionally and that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are still going to be a- bitch, as you put it. But if you believe that you are the same person you were at the beginning of the year, you are strongly mistaken." 

You looked down, hugging yourself, softly running a hand up your arm to your shoulder, and back down again. You sighed a shaky breath and thought about everything he just said. 

"You should get to bed." He suggested, after a minute of silence between the two of you. "It's past curfew, and I have to wait for All Might to get back with some boys."  He turned to you and raised an eyebrow. "And I feel like you know something about them sneaking out." 

You smiled softly, then looked back up at him. "How much trouble are they gonna be in?" 

"A week of house arrest, if they're lucky." 

"Can you go easy on them? Kacchan-... really needed this." You moved your gaze to the ground as you spoke the last part. 

He sighed. "Go inside." Without another word, you listened and went inside. 

After changing into your pyjamas, you decided to wait in Bakugou's room. However, you fell asleep before he came back. When he did come back, after changing into his pyjamas, he climbed into bed, accidentally waking you up slightly. 

You hummed and looked up at him. "Was I right?" 

He chuckled slightly. "Yea. His quirk is from All Might." 

You hummed again and nuzzled your face into his chest. He smiled and kissed the top of your head, before pulling the blanket up a little more on you. He looked down at you one more time, happy that you were finally his, before the exhaustion took over him, and he fell asleep with one hand around your waist, and the other stroking your hair softly. 





Words: 1412
Hey guys. Usually, I take a few breaks while writing this, but today I couldn't stop. I don't know what it was, but I wrote this super fast. 
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you in the next chapter. 

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