Unrevealed Love

Chapter 11

My leg repeatedly bounces up and down as I sit on the bed in the doctors room. Waiting for Jen to come in. I was now 6 weeks and waiting for my ultrasound. My head snaps to the door as it starts to open, Jen walks in. 

“Hi, Infinity.” She says with a smile. 

With a shaky breath I open my mouth. “Hi.” I mumble. Jen puts some papers down on a table and sits in a chair. 

“So I'm informed you haven't told your parents yet, yes?” I nod. “Well for today we're going to do an ultrasound just to see how the baby is doing. Now what we usually do this early in a pregnancy, is something called a trans-vaginal ultrasound which is where you place a transducer in your vagina to be able to see your uterus, ovaries, and cervix.” Jen tells and I gulp. 

I wasn't ready for this. I thought I was but I really wasn't, this was all too much to handle. Especially alone. I can't do this, I'm not ready for this. Frustrated tears build up and a burning lump in my throat makes my breathing slow down. I immediately jump down from the bed and shake my head at Jen. 

“I'm- I can't do this, Jen, I'm sorry!” I blurt out and walk out of the room and out into my car. I lean my head against my steering wheel and burst into tears. 

I was carrying a child, a human being. Someone who one day is going to find love and feel emotions and live life. I was carrying a mini me or mini Lance and I'm not ready to be a mom. I never thought it was going to be this hard, I'm barely 18! I actually thought I was ready to do this without telling anyone and walking into the doctors office and have that ultrasound. I was just a child myself for God's sake! I needed to tell someone and get help or have support. Doing this alone right now wasn't the best idea.

With a sigh, I start my car, and start driving to the one person I need to tell. 

*

Alida sobs as her body is hunched over, I put my head down. 

“You've been pregnant all this time?” She cries out and I nod. 

After an hour of spilling everything to Alida about Lance and my pregnancy, the weight on my shoulders have been lifted off. The only thing now is feeling the guilt of not telling Alida earlier about all of this. She could've helped me through all the hard stuff I've had to deal with. Yes, I regret not telling Alida earlier but do you blame me? I didn't want to believe it at first nether less tell someone else about this! 

“So, there's seriously someone growing inside of you?” Alida asks as she sniffles. I look up at her and nod. “That explains why you're growing boobs.” Alida jokes and a small laugh escapes my lips but when I look back at Alida, I burst into tears. 

“What am I going to do?” I ask. Alida crawls over to me on her bed and wraps me in her arms. 

“I'm a kid having a kid, Alida.” 

It was true, I wasn't ready to just grow up. I still cry to Kathy and ask her for advice when I need it. I still back talk to my dad and Kathy. I still have all these kid stuff to do! Having a kid means I'll have to grow up and be more mature, I'm going to have to find a job and buy an apartment. I'm going to need responsibility for this child if I want to keep it. And Colt? Is being with Colt the right thing right now? I'm obviously having a child and I've known Colt for what? A couple weeks now? I doubt Colt even wants the responsibility of his girlfriend carrying another Man's child. Its not even his kid anyway so why would he stay with me? 

I don't want to put that responsibility on Colt either, even if he is fine with the fact I'm pregnant I cant do that to him. He's only 18, I doubt he wants to be ending his school year with another man's child. I can not do that to Colt he's way to sweet and kind for that. What are his parents going to even say? Will he ever tell his parents when I tell him?