cursed (2022)

chapter eight: runaway max

A few months back, I tried to run away. Lucas is the only one who knows it. Last time I tried, it was back in LA because I didn't want to come to Hawkins. The police found me though, which sucked.

I made sure to plan better this time. I didn't want to be found, I just wanted to leave. Being at home was unbearable. Billy and Neil were terrible to me, and mom just stood there and watched. I love my mom, but I hate her for that, just like I hate her for making me come to this stupid town in the first place.

Neil completely lost his shit when Billy died. He started being terrible to the both of us. He's ten times more abusive than he was before. They were always fighting, and sometimes, my mom and I got into fights. Neil is always drunk and my mom is starting to be just like him. She's been drinking a lot.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take walking past Billy's empty room every morning. I couldn't take the guilt that followed me everywhere I went. I couldn't take all the arguing and sounds of dishes breaking that I'd have to clean up. I couldn't take Neil threatening to kick us out every time he was fed up. I couldn't take hearing my mom cry every day. I realized that I lost everything. I don't have anything.

When I told Lucas I was running away, he didn't question it. I was grateful. It seemed like he was the only person in my life who wasn't questioning me- acting like I was crazy.

If there was one person I wanted to see before I left this hellhole, it was him. He listened to me talk about how long I'd been planning this.

"Halloween is perfect, my parents think I'm out trick-or-treating and won't bother looking for me until it's too late." I had said.

We didn't dress up that year, everyone had outgrown trick-or-treating. We are in high school, after all.

I never told him why I was leaving, but I think he connected the dots.

I told Lucas not to try and talk me out of it because I had my mind made up. He agreed not to, and willingly walked with me. I don't know if it's because he was worried about me or because he didn't think I'd actually go through with it, I never bothered to ask. I remember thinking to myself, "I'll miss him the most".

Regardless, I ended up talking myself out of it anyway. He let me. He didn't protest against either of the possibilities, but let me figure it out.

"What if I get lost or kidnapped or murdered? Do I even have enough money? It takes a really long time to get there. What if I don't find my dad? What if he doesn't want me? What if my he isn't even there?"

And so we never made it. We only got to Prospect Avenue before I completely broke down and backed out of it. I just kept going on about how it was a stupid idea and how I wished I never had to run away in the first place. I think Lucas realized how bad things actually were that day.

We ended up sitting on a bench until it was time to go back home. He still didn't say anything to me, he just held me as I cried. I didn't expect him to say anything, I didn't want him to. I was just glad he was there.