cursed (2022)

chapter eleven: ms. kelley

High school is already off to a terrible start. I'm almost five months in. I fall asleep in class a lot because my thoughts don't allow me to sleep at night. I've been way too tired to even think of doing work. It's not like I have time, anyway. I have to go home and clean up after my mom. Ever since the move and the divorce, she drinks and smokes to her heart's content. She's always blacked out on the couch and I'm stuck putting out her cigarettes and throwing away her cans.

My other teachers must know something's up, because one of them made me stay after class to talk about it. My grades were usually really good back when I went to Hawkins Middle. She told me that since my grades were so bad now, something must've happened. She's not wrong, but it's nothing I can talk about. I don't budge or make a promise that my grades will go up, because I can't guarantee that they will.

For that, she sends me to the counselor. Her name is Ms. Kelley. My teacher told me she's nice, but I don't like the idea of getting counseling. I don't really have a choice though so today, I find myself sitting in her office.

"Maxine, yes?" she asks.

I was messing with my headphone wires and trying to calm myself down, but it wasn't working. One thing that stuck out to me was her necklace. It was a gold grandfather clock. Weird necklace to have, but whatever.

"Max," I say.

"Max," she nods. "Alright, Max. Your teachers have been telling me you've been having issues in class. Do you have any idea what these issues might be?"

I know exactly what these issues are, but I play dumb. I don't care for getting better anymore, not when it comes down to this.

"No," I shrug. "Honestly, I think I'm fine."

"Okay," she says. "Well, your grades have gone down drastically. You had all A's and B's in eighth, but that isn't the case anymore. Did something happen over the summer?"

"Not much," I insist as I play with my fingers.

"Max," Ms. Kelley starts. "If you want things to start looking brighter for you, I need you to tell me what's going on."

"Things are looking fine."

"Your performance in class says otherwise," she pulls out a sheet of paper. "Let's see...falling sleeping in class, spacing out, drawing during lectures."

She puts the paper down and looks me dead in the eye.

"Does that seem fine to you?"

Ms. Kelley is probably going to keep pushing until I tell her something, so I might as well make this easier for myself. I only tell her about my parents divorcing and moving to a trailer park. I don't mean to say anything else, but I can't stop talking. I tell her that my parents used to fight a lot and about Billy dying. I tell her that even though Billy was a horrible brother, I miss him.

"Okay, let's start from here. Do you think the divorce affected you badly?" she asks.

"I don't know," I sigh. "Maybe it's all the fighting. Neil was an ass, so I don't really care that he's gone. I'm glad, honestly. But now my mom drinks and smokes a lot. It's annoying but I understand."

Ms. Kelley writes something down in a notebook before I sigh and roll my eyes. I really don't want to be here. I think she can tell, so she finally lets me go. The downside is that she directs me to come to her every day until we can come up with a schedule, which I'm not looking forward to. I put on my headphones and quickly rush to get home. Before I can even get outside, I'm confronted by Mike.

"Oh, hey," he waves. I can't really get away from him because he's right in front of me.

"Hi," I say. This might be the first time I'm talking to him since El moved away.

"You didn't show up to movie night," he says.

God, not movie night.

"No, I didn't," I raise one of my eyebrows. That was so long ago.

"Well, Lucas is worried," Mike explains. "I just wanted to know if you were okay."

"Yeah," I lie. "Something just came up, maybe next time."