cursed (2022)

chapter twenty-six: i'm still here

After I'd finally calmed down, Lucas helped me up and kept his arm around me all the way to the car. Even then, he let me lay on his shoulder while I cried the entire way to the Wheeler's. We didn't say anything to each other. It was a comfortable silence, just like the ones we used to have.

At the Wheeler's, I couldn't sleep, but I mean, it's whatever. At least I'm alive. I can still barely process what even happened last night. Another load of trauma that I'll have to deal with, great. But at least I'm alive.

We don't know if Vecna plans on attacking me again. So far, so good. I haven't had any visions or headaches. I can't sleep, but maybe that's just because I almost died in a way that could've gone down as one of the most brutal deaths known to man. Dustin explained to me that music reaches a part of my brain that words can't. I don't know how that works, but I'm told to keep listening to the song as a precaution.

Because we're all unsure though, everyone takes turns watching me. I feel like a child, but I don't argue because I don't have the energy and I know it's reasonable.

Before watch duty started, we'd tried to call the Byers like a million times, but it was a busy signal. I know Joyce has a job that requires the phone, but this is ridiculous.

I keep thinking about what Billy- Vecna said about me wanting Billy to die. I know he's obviously been watching me, but how would he know that? I think he can read my thoughts and go into past memories, kind of like El. He's just trying to mess with my head. I always try to convince myself that I never really wanted Billy dead, and that it's more of me wishing he would treat me right, but I'm lying to myself. What I do know is that when he died, I regretted ever wishing he would.

When it was Dustin's turn to watch me, he fell asleep. I feel bad for stressing all of them, so I let them get their rest. Being in Mike's basement is boring anyway. I quietly go upstairs to the dining table where Mike's sister, Holly, is coloring. Mrs. Wheeler says good morning to me, and I say it back before taking a seat at the table.

"Can I color with you?" I ask. Holly nods and passes me a few blank papers and crayons.

I start to draw what I saw when I was in Vecna's lair. It's only a matter of time before everyone starts asking what I saw, and it's kind of hard to explain. There's probably going to be no red crayon when I'm done. I end up coloring a lot and using a bunch of different papers.

Holly tells me about shows she likes to watch and games she likes to play. She tells me about how much she loves school and all her friends. She also shows me a bunch of her drawings. I like hanging out with her, because she's only talking about herself. I don't have to say much, just smile, nod, and ask occasional questions so she doesn't think I'm bored with her.

A bit later, Nancy and Dustin come marching upstairs in a hurry. They were probably looking for me.

I continue to color as Nancy talks to her mom. Not long after, she comes and sits next to me so I turn off my walkman.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey," she says back. "You okay?"

"Just couldn't sleep," I smile. "People kept blasting music in my ears for some reason.

Nancy laughs a bit and looks down at her arms. I never really talk to her one on one that often. It's weird how tragedy can bring people together.

"But Holly let me borrow some of her crayons. We've been having fun, right Holly?" I say.

"Mhm!" Holly nods, not looking up from her sketchbook.

Nancy examines my drawings, and even puts her hand on one of them, "Is this what you saw last night?"

"I mean, it's supposed to be." I shrug. "I thought it'd be easier to draw it out than to explain it, but...not so much."

Nancy reaches for a drawing of Fred and Chrissy, "Is that-"

I nod, "It was like they were on display, or something. And then there was this red fog everywhere. It was like a dream- a nightmare."

"Do you think Vecna's just trying to scare you?" Nancy asks.

"With Billy? Yeah. But when I made it here, I don't know, something's different. He seemed surprised almost. Like he didn't want me there."

"Maybe you infiltrated his mind," Dustin chimes in. "He invaded your mind, right? Is it that big of a leap to suggest that you somehow wound up in his? Like Freddie Krueger's boiler room."

"Freddie Krueger?" Holly repeats.

"He's a super burned-up dude with razors for fingers, and he kills you in your dreams," Dustin explains.

"Dustin!" Nancy whisper shouts. "Seriously?"

"Sorry," Dustin nods. "It's a movie. It's not real. Just- think about it. What if you somehow unlocked a door to Vecna's world? Like, maybe the answer we're looking for is somewhere in this incredibly vague drawing. God, we need Will."

Thank you for insulting my art skills, Dustin!

"Yeah, no shit," I sigh. "But I tried again this morning, and it's the same busy signal."

Nancy picks up one of my drawings, "Is this a window?"

"Yeah," I say.

"Stained glass with roses."

"Yeah. See? I'm not so terrible after all." I say to Dustin.

"Yeah, well, it helps that I've seen it before..." Nancy retorts as she shuffles through the rest of my drawings.

She starts folding them and at first, I'm confused as to what she's doing, but then she starts folding more. It seems that every year we're having to solve puzzles out of someone's drawings. Usually, it's Will. This time, it's me. Nancy takes a sharpie and starts drawing in missing windows. Eventually, the place starts to look like a house. I was right from the get-go.

"It's pieces of a house," I say.

"Not just any house," Nancy sighs as she places the drawing of the door into the missing doorframe. "It's Victor Creel's house."

She picks up my drawings and starts to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Dustin questions with a mouth full.

"Waking the others," Nancy says.