you're my one and only ; yeongyu

22; confusion

it was 6pm in the evening, and yeonjun was still in the dance studio.

the studio had watermelon sugar playing on loop, and yeonjun was panting heavily on the floor, extremely burnt out from the past 5 hours of dancing.

beomgyu had came in to check on him at 4pm, but yeonjun asked the younger to go home without him, and his boyfriend obliged.

beomgyu bought him an anericano, which was sitting at the table near the entrance, but yeonjun didn't have time to rest and take a sip. the ice had already melted, diluting the coffee.

the evaluation was taking place in two days time, and he had worked his ass off. even his own instructor told him that he need not come over for practice anymore since he already knew everything, and he'll ace the evaluation no matter what.

but the stupid naggy feeling never left his brain.

he hated how he kept on fearing that he'll fail. he may seem confident, but he was actually so scared.

the camp that he went to when he was little was still fresh in his mind. he remembered how the other dancers were much more professional, much more charismatic. he was made fun of, because he was the youngest.

"why are you even here? you can barely walk."

"this place doesn't have a spot for you."

"awww are you going to cry? go home and whine to your mummy."

"stop tripping! this is basic, why can't you just get it right?"

"if you fall one more time, i'll make sure your life here would be even more hellish than it was before."

he failed, once.

he was small, and his coordination wasn't so good.

and then yeonjun slowly realised that it was a sin to make mistakes.

he tried making himself perfect, started to wear contact lens instead of wearing glasses, and started to make an effort to style his hair well.

he gave himself a fake persona, one of a mature young adult than the small and fearful teenager he was. he started walking with his head up, and he trained extra hard so he would stand out.

he got what he wanted, he was perfect in everyone's eyes when he went back to school.

"wow, he can dance so well."

"he's the ace in the school."

"damn he's hot."

"i want to be his best friend, just imagine being close to THE choi yeonjun."

the praises never ended, and he ought to feel contented, but he was just empty.

it was hard to hold up the persona for long, he only let his guard down whenever he was with his true friends, but especially beomgyu and wooyoung.

beomgyu was his sun, recharging him every time he was down. beomgyu's touch was soft, be it hugs or holding hands, the way he touched yeonjun was so soft and delicate.

wooyoung was easier to talk to, maybe because they share the same age and interests, he always made yeonjun feel warm and fuzzy inside.

it was as if they had telepathy, because wooyoung peeked his head through the door. yeonjun looked up immediately, and broke out a small smile when he saw wooyoung.

"i knew you were in here." wooyoung chided, entering the studio.

"where's the hello?" yeonjun laughed.