american beauty // joshler

13

tyler's point of view

i'm sitting downstairs at the island, talking to my chef, madi, as she makes pancakes for breakfast.

"so, i'm finally gonna get to meet him, huh? this mysterious josh you've been raving about?"

"why does everyone say stuff like that? i don't talk about him that much, do i?"

"yes. yes, you do."

i hear the creak of him coming down the stairs and choose not to say anything else.

he tilts his head to the side when he sees me. "oh, hey. good morning. i didn't think you'd be up yet," he says, coming to take a seat next to me.

he's still in the clothes he changed into last night, a pair of flannel pajama pants and a plain black tshirt. there's nothing special about it, but he just looks so adorable. i'd like to throw them in my floor or cuddle up next to him and watch a movie. either would be okay with me.

"yeah, hey. good morning to you too. do you want some pancakes? this is my chef, madi. she comes to cook for me from time
to time. even cleans up after. makes a killer hangover smoothie and her blueberry muffins are to die for. she's a saint. madi, this is josh, my friend," i put emphasis on the word, mostly for my own benefit.

"nah," she chuckles and flips a second pancake onto a plate, handing it to me and bringing the butter dish, syrup, and a glass of orange juice to the table for me. "you're good company and you pay me well. it's nice to meet you, josh. you want a couple pancakes? i've got some batter left."

"that would be great, thank you," he offers her a polite smile, "it's nice to meet you."

"the pleasure's all mine. i'm glad i finally get to meet this josh that tyler's been telling me about. high praise for you," she mentions.

"actually, i take it back. you're fired."

"you'd never."

josh doesn't respond to her comment and we make light breakfast conversation until we're both done eating.

"well, i think i should probably get ready and get going. i've got some stuff to get ready for tomorrow," josh says.

i feel a sort of crashing in my chest then, my mood immediately deflating at the thought of him leaving. i hate feeling this way.

"oh, okay. yeah," i just nod and turn to watch as he walks upstairs.

he comes back down wearing jeans and a hoodie, his hair ruffled from pulling it on over his head. i'd love to run my hands through it.

"alright, i'll, um, see you at the shoot tomorrow."

"yeah," i put on a weak smile, "i'll see you then, darling."

-

the sun has set and i've gotten bored again, my thoughts begging to claw their way to the front of my mind. i need constant consumption in order to not be consumed by them.

brendon is already off on his tour, which eliminates my usual distraction. i don't want to bother josh again. he only left this morning, i'd hate to push my luck. this means i'll be going to the club. i can always find plenty of options to keep my thoughts at bay.

i don't want to bother steven so late though, so i opt to order an uber instead. i get dressed and ready quickly, throwing on a sheer shirt some designer sent me and a bit of blush and mascara.

the ride to the club is only a few minutes and i'm let in immediately, met with the muffled sounds of the club behind a second door. i hate clubs without entryways like this, which is why i frequent here.