american beauty // joshler

24

josh's point of view

i'm at my last shoot of the day, waiting for tyler to show up. the other models are already here and i've had quite a long day, so i'm ready to get this over with. i'm going to have a shit ton to edit tonight and i don't want to be here forever.

he shows up about seven minutes late with a cigarette between his lips.

"do you show up late on purpose?" i ask, leaning against the wall by the vanity he's meant to sit at.

"sometimes. not today." he changes first, something the makeup artist makes a comment about under her breath.

"why today then?" i watch as the makeup artist finishes and the hairdresser steps behind him.

"couldn't sleep last night." he shrugs.

"wonder why."

"oof. you got me," he says, bringing a hand to his chest in mock offense with a small smile. he puts his cigarette out in the ashtray and stands up, which leaves us fairly close together.

"it comes from a place of-" i pause. fuck. i have no choice now but to finish the sentence. "friendship."

i watch his face fall just enough for me to notice and he sighs a little, recomposing himself quickly. "right." he walks away after that, going to stand on his mark next to the other models who are already waiting for him.

we shoot for awhile and then stop halfway through for a break. i hear tyler talking to a few of the other models, making his usual snarky, sarcastic comments. from what i've seen, they haven't done anything to deserve this. it was probably my remark about friendship that soured his mood.

"i have that shirt." he tilts his head to the side as he stands next to another model, looking at a photo she's showing him and her friend on her phone. "i think it looked a little better on me."

"tyler, play nice, please?" i ask, walking past him to get a cup of water.

he just laughs. "never."

-

while getting back into his own clothes, i hear tyler make another comment, though i don't know the context, or if he was even speaking to anyone specifically.

"you know, if i can get my shit together, i'm gonna run away and never see any of you again." he takes his pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his jeans and lights one, walking out without saying anything else.

i let the words sit in the silence that came after them. i let them ruminate in my mind as i make my way up to my office. part of me wants to go after him, to say... something, come up with some sort of reply.

i shake my head and sit down at my computer, opening the editing software and doing my best to put the sentence to rest so i can do my work.

i get most of it done within a few hours and head back home after submitting what needs to be submitted.

i make myself dinner and shower, changing into comfier clothes afterwards. i sit on my couch, choosing some show i've seen a million times to occupy my mind.

i must've ended up dozing off to it though, because i wake up to my phone ringing. tyler's name is displayed on my screen and i sigh before answering.

"yes, tyler?"

"jooooshhh, come here," he slurs into the phone, music playing loudly in the background.

"it's late, tyler, and i... nevermind. are you high?" i drag my hand down my face.

"nooo, jus' a little drunk." he giggles and i almost wish i hadn't answered.

"are you safe? are you at home?"