Chapter 4

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"maybe if you're lonely, maybe you should know me,maybe you'll love again

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"maybe if you're lonely,
maybe you should know me,
maybe you'll love again."
- Maybe You'll Love Again, SAFIA



I stand in the middle of a road, in a place that resembles town, eyeing something laying on the road up ahead.

..It's Willow.

Is she okay? Is she hurt? Is she just sleeping?

I start making my way to her, panic quickly setting in. I scream out her name but she doesn't stir. As I get closer, I can see her more clearly.. She's lying in a pool of blood. And the pool grows bigger and bigger as I reach her. Then I feel it. Thick and sticky, my hands are heavy with it. I slowly raise my hands up in front of my face. They're soaked, covered in deep red blood, from my fingertips down to my elbows.

My chest starts heaving.

No, no, no.

I feel it building, a scream, rising up from my stomach with my heavy breaths, into my throat. I take one last big breath, ready to release it into the air-

I wake with a start, my heart pounding, and it takes me a moment to remember where I am. I look around the fabric walls of Shane's tent through watery eyes, before rubbing my tear stained face. The darkness of night still present, I let out a big sigh and roll to my side, trying to get comfortable under the blanket again.

I drift in and out of consciousness for what feels like hours. It's hard for me to stay asleep. I'm in a foreign place, with people I do not know. Worry and unfamiliarity keeps my mind from slipping back into deep sleep. Eventually, I do end up in another dream, this one much the same as the first. Except now, lying on the road next to Willow, is my parents.

They too are unmoving, pools of blood growing big and fast around them. I scream for them all to get up, but they don't move and the blood pools expand. I look at my hands and once again, they're covered in blood up to my elbows. I hear the sound of a gun cocking behind me before I feel it press against the back of my head. And when I try to speak, all that comes out is undead snarling.

I bolt upright, breathing heavily again. I wipe the wetness from around my eyes and hang my head in my hands. After some deep breathing, I run my hands up over my head, smoothing my hair. It's light outside now, but the sun isn't up yet, so I lay back down to attempt more sleep. But when I close my eyes, I see Willow. I see my parents. I see a whole lot of blood. So I give up on sleep and sit up again.

And then the emptiness hits me.

There is a hole in my heart and it's screaming out for Willow. We were two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. How am I suppose to carry on without my best friend?

I feel the numbness creeping back, so I force myself out of bed and get ready for the day, not wanting to let it debilitate me again. I straighten the blanket over the cot, making sure I leave it neat and tidy. When that's done, I tie the excess fabric of Shane's white tee in a knot at my stomach and fold up the legs of his sweatpants a couple times. I pull on my socks and combat boots, and undo the padlock on the tent. I leave the lock and key on the floor by the entrance, along with Shane's flashlight, and quietly unzip the tent. Once it's fully unzipped, I pull back the fabric and survey the area.

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