Frequencies

LXVIII

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Jordan's POV
•€•
November 24th

I'm scared out of my mind.

It's like every time I'm not actively doing something, I just zone out. When I've regained consciousness, I see her and she's scared.

I can't look at her when she looks at me like that.

She has her head laid against the window. I want to know what she's thinking.

She's made a decision and I can't help but think about what this will do to her. What it will do to us. As much as I want to protect her, it kills me to do this.

I have been preparing for this baby to enter the world since the moment on that jet. I made a promise that day and now I'm going back on my word.

But I made a promise before that one. To protect her at all costs...at any cost.

We arrive and I put the car in park. In unison, we both take a deep breath.

I go around and open her door. She steps out and it's almost like her legs go weak beneath her. I grab onto her and finally look into her puffy eyes.

She pulls back from me and wipes her face.

I honestly don't know if this is right.

She takes her purse and starts walking towards the entrance. I trail slowly behind her. The guilt is standing to hit heavy.

She speaks to the nurse at the front desk and again, we wait to be tended to.

"Gabriella Mason," I hear for what seems like the millionth time in the past few days.

I look over at her and her hands shake ever so slightly. I've been trying my best to give her the space she needs.

That's usually what she needs when handling situations. But what I need when she's handling situations is to hold her.

I take her cold fingers into mine and she stands. I pull her into me. She's still in my embrace. When I let go, she pulls back and walks in front of me.

I don't know what that means.

We speak to the doctors about what the operation entails and then she's changed and prepared. Her phone rings and she hesitates before answering.

"Hello," she answers and her voice cracks. So does a piece of my heart. "Hi, Mama. Hey, Daddy...yes...I'll be okay...He's right here...uh huh...Please, don't say anything to her...I'll speak to her...I'm sure...I love you too...I will...I'll see you soon," she says before hanging up.

I spent the hour while she was getting the scans done on the phone with her parents. They'll be here in the evening. Maya is on her way now.

I know she'll need them.

"Okay, Ms.Mason. We're ready for you," a nurse comes through the doors.

She looks away for a second and I move closer to her.

She looks back at me with the most pleading eyes and I bite my lip. I rub my hand over her head and she closes her eyes.

My baby.

I'm sorry,

God, this is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to encounter.

I lean down and look into her eyes as I continue to rub her head. "You'll be okay," I say as a consolation. More to myself then to anyone else.