Frequencies

LIX

SWIPE AND HIT PLAY FOR MUSIC!

Gabby's POV
•€•
November 3rd

4 months later...

"Yes, Mama. I'm headed in there right now," I say as I walk into the office.

"Okay and promise to call me right after," she says.

"I will,"

"Gabby, I don't know why you can't just come home so I can go with you. Ya kill mi with this," she says. I feel guilty but at the same time, this is the only way I can cope.

"The nurse called my name, Mommy. I'll call you when I get to the house. I love you," I say and she sighs.

I hate hearing her sigh like this. I'm not doing this to hurt her or anyone. Isolation is all I know. It's always been my first resort.

"I love you more than life itself, Baby. I'll be right here waiting on the call," she says. I hang up and join the nurse.

She takes me to the room to wait for the doctor. I'm nervous. I've put this off for as long as I could but I'm halfway through my second trimester.

I really meant it when I said I didn't want to do this alone. Well I chose to be alone right now but I didn't want to do this without him.

I instantly start at the nail polish I did just this morning. I don't even know why I bother. They never last.

I'm a nervous wreck.

The doctor knocks softly and then emerges from behind the door with a small grin.

"Good morning, Ms.Mason," she greets me.

"Good morning," I respond.

"So how are we feeling today? Any updates on you or baby?" she asks.

"I haven't felt any morning sickness. My appetite has quadrupled but most of my things still fit," I say still peeling at the polish.

"Yes, I can see that you are quite small for someone this far along," she says and my anxiety follows in the footsteps on my hunger.

"Does that mean something is wrong?" I ask.

"Not necessarily. The baby could just be sitting very far back or it can just be the way your body is growing. The size of your stomach doesn't always correlate with the size of your baby," she says and I sigh.

"Okay,"

"We can do some scans and run some tests just to be sure," she suggests.

"Yes, please," I say. I always get scared when it comes to anything regarding this baby.

I'm already attached. I haven't even felt any movement and this baby doesn't make itself known very often but I feel very connected.

It's the only thing I have of him.

"How about we start with an ultrasound," she says and I smile. Like I said...I wanted to wait. I haven't even seen my baby yet and it's been almost 5 months.

She spreads the cold gel like substance over my stomach and stares at the screen. I can barely make out what I'm seeing. Everything resembles marble cake batter.

"You see that right there," she says pointing at the what actually resembles a baby. I didn't think I'd be able to see an actual form. Waterworks.

"It's so small," I sniffle.

"It's about the size of a pear right now. That's where you should be. Baby is sitting where they need to be. I'm assuming your belly itself just grows slowly. Every woman is different," she tells me.