Frequencies

XXXI

SWIPE AND HIT PLAY FOR MUSIC!

Gabby's POV
•€•
February 23rd

He's really leaving.

He's leaving and the words he spat to me will be the last things I ever hear him say. The images continue to replay in my mind.

After Maya left yesterday, I felt so drunk and hazy although I hadn't had anything. I slept the rest of the day and now it's 5am and I'm staring at the ceiling.

It's the first time I've slept so long in the past two weeks. It's pathetic.

Maybe hearing that he was actually leaving sobered my brain from the way he intoxicated me.

Maybe not...

The same drowsy feeling remains.

Two weeks without him feels like a lifetime. Two weeks without his smile. Two weeks without his scent. Two weeks without his voice. Two weeks without his touch.

I should also count the previous 2 weeks he spent acting funny. I should've asked questions then. I usually don't let his silence last but I decided against interrogation.

Sometimes I felt that if I pushed him for answers, he'd lie to me. I don't know why.

I feel so empty. The embarrassment I feel is worse. I was fine before him and now I can barely sleep 2 full hours through the night. It's funny how things work.

How love works...

That's what I thought this was. I guess he didn't feel the same way I did. Lucky enough, I withheld from saying those very words. Maybe it saved me from greater heartache. Or maybe it could've been what saved this.

I don't know. My head hurts.

I can't wrap my head around it. I thought he was different. I felt the was different. That why I trusted him so much.

After years of closing myself from everyone who tried to work their way into my life, I let him in. I gave him all of me. The broken parts too.

I should try to get myself together. I have a live class to teach at 11 and my girls to teach at 3. This should be the last thing on my mind. I have work to do.

I manage to pull myself from the bed. Each morning it feels like I'm lifting a ton. It's hurts to even admit.

I head to the bathroom and take a cold shower. It's not my usual but nothing seems usual these days.

It's sort of refreshing and I have enough energy to make it through the rest of my routine.

My appetite is gone so breakfast is out of the question. Diamond shouldn't need to use the bathroom anytime soon but I head downstairs and let her out anyways.

It's nice outside today, contradicting what I feel on the inside. The sun shining so brightly actually annoys me.

I grab my laptop and head back upstairs to let my work consume me. Luckily, this whole situation has given me an opportunity to narrow my focus. I work harder just to clear my mind.