adopted by them?! / 5SOS Fanfiction

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Trigger warning MAJOR FEELS you're welcome (:

Emma's POV

Today was Ashton's funeral. There's no way I'm ready for this. The boys seems way more ready to say a proper goodbye then I am. I'm still caught up in that night at the hospital. I don't want to remember Ash that way, I want to remember the good times we shared, the laughs, fights and make up hugs we shared, not the shooting, his body laying on the hospital bed and today.

I do want to live through today, but I just don't want to remember it. It's the type of day no one should have to go through. but here I am, waiting to go through it.

"Emma we have to go" I heard Calum's sadden tone calling from downstairs. I obeyed and walked down the stairs with no motivation, whatsoever. Calum saw my expression and pulled me into a hug without question. The other boys joined and we just stayed like that for a while. It felt nice, like before. Everyone had their eyes closed and I'm certain that we were all imagining Ashton standing with us, joining in our hug, just like old time...

"We really should go now, come on guys" Michael voice this time broke me out of my trance. We followed each other out to the car and climbed in. There was this unspoken agreement to let Calum drive now, as it always use to be Ashton's job to drive. You could visibly see how uncomfortable he was with it as well.

Once we arrived at the church, we slowly unloaded from the car and walked side by side towards the crowd of people. I only recognised a few people, those being the boys families and Laura who was standing with an older couple who I'm guessing are her parents.

I followed the boys who seemed to be ignoring the calling of people around them and walking straight through the crowd and towards the open doors of the church. They kept walking through the open doors and up the aisle of the church towards something I couldn't see considering they're giants and I was walking behind them.

They stopped at the front of the church and separated to let me see what was there. I was shocked. I wasn't expecting an open coffin for family and close friends. Of course it was hard to imagine what today was going to be like as I'd never been to a funeral before but I defiantly wasn't expecting this. We stood in a line just storing at his cold, lifeless body, no one moving.

I walked forward first and kissed his forehand.

"I love you, daddy, forever" I whispered just so he could hear me, only he needed to hear it, it was just for him.

I stepped back and joined the boys, watching as Luke stepped forward, following my actions before also stepping back. Calum then did the same, followed by Michael. We stood back and watched as they closed the coffin. We'd never see him again... only in memories, pictures and videos.

We took our seats as the service began.

"We're gathered here today, to celebration the life of Ashton Fletcher Irwin"

I zoned out. I didn't want to hear about how he was too young, shouldn't have died, all that. It was just too much. So I sat in a world of my own, where me and Ash were sitting in the back garden, chasing each other around, laughing, sharing secrets.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Calum shaking me, telling me it was time for me to go up and give my speech. It was now I began to wonder why I had decided to give this speech. I knew I had to, but I also knew I wouldn't be able to hold it together.

I walked forward slowly and climbed up onto the stage. Looking down, I could see his closed coffin in front of me. I quickly looked up before I began to tear up over the sight. I took a deep breath, staring out at the audience before me and began.

"I know a lot of you might not recognise me, but I was Ashton's adopted daughter. I also know I haven't been in his life for that long. But in the short year I spent with him, I learnt a lot about him. We grew very close and soon he became my rock. Growing up in care isn't much fun, and a lot of bad things happen which affect a child emotionally as well as physically. I developed a lot of disorders, some which I was born with, others that I had acquired with my parents, and some from being in care. I was adopted by the boys while I still had these disorders. All the boys helped me to recover, but Ash really was my rock. I could tell him anything, knowing he wasn't going to judge me. He was like a father figure. I never really had a proper dad. yes I had one who said he loved me but he left, telling me he didn't love me. I know that Ash did, he loved me from day one and that made me feel safe around him. So thank you Ash, thank you for giving me a chance in life. Thank you for picking me up off the ground, and fixing me with love. You've had such a huge impact on my life and I will never forget that. So dad, stay safe up there, keep watch on all of us here, I love you. We'll forever remember you for the kind loveable person you were. We will live on in memory of you, live in your love, and never ever forget. I love you so much daddy."

I was crying hard as I walked back to my seat. Calum pulled me into a hug as Ashton's mum stood up to give her speech.

"That was beautiful, Emma, We'll never forget him." I stayed on Calum's lap for the rest of the service, quietly crying into his shoulder.

I, again, zoned out for the rest of the service and felt Calum shaking me, telling me it was time to go. We waited till everyone had gone through to the next room for coffee and tea etc. The boys started to walk through and I told Calum I'd be through in a minute. Ashton's coffin was still at the front, nailed shut. I didn't want to leave him here all alone so I walked up and sat beside it. I put a hand on it imagining I was holding his giant hand,

"I Promise I'll never forget you, I couldn't if I tried. I'll be with you soon, promise..." I kissed the coffin before walking next door and joining the boys, feeling slightly relived that today is almost over.

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These last couple of chapters are so hard to write!

Love you guys xx