adopted by them?! / 5SOS Fanfiction

Chapter 20

Last chapter!

Huge Trigger Warning, Please don't read if you can be triggered easily!!

Emma's POV

We left the church around 630pm after everyone else had left. I felt a huge weight being lifted of my shoulders purely because today was over. I officially hate funerals, and I'm glad I'll never have the misfortune of living through one again.

Calum drove us home again and I walked straight into my room and lay down. I wanted to sleep but not yet, I had stuff to do first.

I started by locking my door and walking over to my desk. I took out 5 sheets of paper and wrote 5 different names at the top,

Calum

Michael

Luke

Laura

Ashton.

You might be thinking, why Ashton? Well I plan to be taking his up with me and gibing it to him in person.

I grabbed a pen and began to write the letters, starting with Laura's.

"Dear Laura,

I'm so sorry, I don't want to have to do this, make you go through two deaths at a time, but I just can't cope without him. You know he was my rock, I know this is selfish but I've been hurting for too long and it's time for the pain to end. I love you, Laura, don't forget me."

Next was Luke's

"Lukey,

I know Ashton's death was hard for you, so hard, and I know this isn't going to help with that, but you have to understand I'm doing this for the best, you're all better without me. We were so close Lukey, I don't want you to forget that, I don't want you to forget me either. But I want you to move on, please. I want you and the boys to continue touring the world, living your dream. Do it for me and Ash, It's what he would've wanted, I'm sure of it. We'll watch over you together, keep you all safe. I'll tell him you love him, yeah? I love you Lukey, Thank you for choosing me that day xxx"

Now on to Michael's,

"Mikey,

You were so strong for the boys when Ash died, I hope you still are now. I don't want to put you through this sadness again but it has to be this way and you have to understand that okay? Remember I love you, flip I love you so much, but it's time. Please don't forget me, don't be down about this, or sad. celebrate my life for me, live my life for me. I'll be watching over you Mikey, I want you to go back to the band and start touring again. Don't waste your life, you're still young and have so much to live for. Please don't throw that away over this, I want you to be the one in the nursing home, bald, 90 years old and able to say, I lived through this, and made the most of what I still had, be proud of it, but don't forget me... I love you so much xxx"

Now for Calum's

"Cal,

You were defiantly my long lost brother. You held me through yesterday, you picked me up when my rock left. You fixed my reopened wounds, left by Ash's death. You should be proud of that. Remember the impact you had on me Cal, cause I sure as hell will never forget what you did for me. I love you to the moon and back, and will forever. I know it took a while for me to get use to you, and trust you, but I did and thank god I did, because it was one of the best things I have ever done in my short life. The world is a vicious place but I know in my heart that you are string enough to cope with the this cruel place. You and the other two are. I want you to continue living your dreams, selling out arena's and staying strong as a band, for your fans. Keep touring, I'll keep an eye on you, to keep you safe, but I don't want you wasting your life over me and I'm sure Ash would say the same. Don't forget me Cal, I love you to the moon and back xxx"

Finally Ashton's

"Dad,

You picked me off the ground and was prepared to carry me until I was ready to stand for myself again. Unfortunately, you left before I was able to stand, and now I'm falling. There's nothing to catch me this time and so it's time I join you. For you, I'll eat a last meal, because I know how big your smile was when you saw me eating by myself. You know, you were the best dad ever. You did such a good job and I'm sorry for kid that was going to be your child, because they will never get a dad half as good as you would've been. You taught me how to live, you changed my want to leave this world into a want to stay, but you've gone and now my desire to stay has changed again. All I want to do now is join you. I know I'm being selfish, but this pain is too much to fix with therapy or talking to people, there's no way to fix this pain I'm feeling and so I'm coming to join you. I don't want to hurt the boys but I can't do this anymore. I grew up surrounded by hate, people hurting, leaving and abusing me. You were the one person prepared to change my life around and I just can't life without you. So daddy, wait up for me, I'm coming, I'll be with you soon, just like I promised. I love you daddy xxxxx"

This is it. I walked down to the kitchen and made myself and sandwich, just like I had told dad I would and I walked into the living room and sat with the boys. I finished my sandwich and hugged all the boys for the last time before walking up stairs and back to my room. I set an alarm on my phone and lay down to sleep.

I woke up at 3am to the sound of my alarm and quickly shut it off before the boys woke up. I dressed in the dress I wore yesterday and walked out of the house, looking back at it one last time.

I walked to the beach that isn't far from the house and slowly walked towards the water. When I reached to sea, I kept walking, further and further. Deeper and deeper out I went.

"I coming dad" Were my last words before I was fully submerged. I blew out all the air in me and kept walking.

Finally leaving this cruel world...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was the hardest thing I have ever written.

sorry for the double death scene, but it had to happen

believe me, it took all of my might not to change it and let her be saved, but it had to end this way.

So that's the last chapter!

I'll be writing an epilogue and posting it either tonight or tomorrow.