adopted by them?! / 5SOS Fanfiction

Chapter 15

I never thought I'd continue this book for so long but yeah, I like it. Im trying to update more but it's hard at the minute with exams and shit so yeah, enjoy.

Chapter 15

I miss my twin, I miss him more that anything, he was my rock, without him, I fell apart. Since he left I self harmed. That's where it all started and that's when everything when wrong. This probably makes no sense to you since you don't know why he left, so let me explain it a little better. My twin was a good kid, always smiling and cheerful, always helping my parents, and basically the cement holding our family together. Imagine this, your building a house and you've spent month after month, building it up and perfecting everything. You're on the finally roof tile and as you nail it in place, the cement disappears, vanishes, and the house, that you've put all you're heart and soul into building, just falls to pieces, crumbles to dust and you just break and give up. You're left raging and full of frustration, like nothing else in the world matter, just the dust in front of you which was, a few minutes previously, a beautiful, perfected house. That's how it feel when he left. I was angry at everything for months, years even. I couldn't stand being with my family and everything collapsed, fell apart and I ended up in an orphanage because of it.

I needed to get out of this room, I wanted to stay clean and so I needed out. I decided a walk alone, along the beach would be best at the minute, and so I grabbed my phone and money and slipped on my vans before walking quickly out the door and down onto the beach.

It was a beautiful day today, the sun was shinning and there were little kids everywhere, running around and in the water swimming. I miss the days of being little and carefree. Being able to enjoy life as it came, and not have a worry in the world. I wonder how much longer that would've last if he didn't leave.

I sat down on a near by bench, enjoy the peacefulness. An elderly woman around the age of 70 came and sat beside me,
"Beautiful isn't it?"
I was startled by her voice as I hadn't expected her to speak,
"Yeah, it is quite nice here"
"I know you, from somewhere but I can't think where"
This was getting strange, how does she know me? I've never seen her in my life before?
"You must have the wrong person, I don't know you, sorry"
I stood up to leave but she stopped me,
"You're James' sister aren't you?"
I froze, staring at her, it's not possible, how could she possibly know my twin brother?
"You know him? Is he okay!? Where is he? Is he still alive?" I whispered the last part, fearing her reply, I couldn't believe this, in had dreamt of seeing him again before it was too late and now I might be able to.
"My dear, he's fine, he lives with my grandson, they've been friends since he left your house"
My heart was racing, I needed answers, I needed to find him and most importantly, I needed to do it fast, before I lost him again.
"Where do they live, ma'am?"
"Call me rose, yes, I have his address here"
She fumbled in her bag before pulling out a scrap of paper with, hopefully my brother's, address on it.
"Thank you so much, rose, i haven't seen him in years, 6 years to be exact, and I miss him so much!" I exclaimed.
" I expect you do miss him, but be very careful my dear, he may not be he same person that you once knew"
And with that she stood up and walked in the opposite direction. I watched her walk away. This seems so surreal, I don't know if I should believe it. A few minutes ago I was jumping at the idea of going to meet my brother but her last sentence confused me. Maybe he doesn't want to see me, maybe he's forgotten I exist. But what if he hasn't, what if, he's the same person he was when he left, what if I don't go and I regret it for the rest of my life, what if I don't go and in a year I'll be at his funeral, full of guilt and regret for not jumping at the opportunity to see him. I have to do this, I have to see him one more time, make sure he's safe, tell him I love him.

It started to become dark and I figured I should probably return him before the boys kill me for staying out too late without telling them where I am. I laugh at the thought of Calum calling the police because I stayed out ten minutes too late. I love the boys, don't get me wrong, but they are extremely protective of me, it's annoying sometimes considering I had to look after myself for many years.

I slowly began the long walk home and I was about 10 minutes away when I felt drops of rain falling all around me, I quicken my pace which soon turned into a run in an eagerness to return home dry. I made it home before the rain was too heavy and run straight into 4 worried looking boys.
"Where have you been?!"
"It's been 4 hours!"
"We've been worried sick!"
"Why didn't you call or tell us where you were?!"
Questions and statements were thrown at me from every possible direction.
"Guys calm the fuck down, I went for a walk and I'm fine okay? Nothing bad happened and I'm still alive. I appreciate the concern but I did spend years looking after myself so please stop being so dam protective!"
"Fine, if you don't want us to care, we won't, but we are still in-charge of you so go to your room and stay there until morning!"
"You're blowing this a bit out of proportion don't you think?!" I yelled right back at Ash who was fuming at me and if this was a cartoon, I'm sure smoke would be coming out of his ears!
"I don't think I am, Emma! You're the one who seems to not give a shit about how worried we were about you! 4 hours is a long time to worry, you selfish brat!"
Well that hurt, that defiantly stung. He stormed out and to be honest I'm glad he did. The 3 boys left in front of me seems to be looking at me with sorrow in their eyes but in didn't need their sympathy right now.
I slammed my door closed and went straight for my drawer. I didn't want to do this, I wanted to stay clean, but like Ashton said, who cares anyways.
I took out all my anger on my wrists, on my skin. Everything I had thought today, about the boys about my twin about everything, it all came out and all the frustration and anger was soon to be scared into my wrists, forever. I looked down at my arms and I saw a sight of dried blood mixed with new blood, it was all red, barely any skin to be seen, it was just a horrible sight. Wait, what? I've never thought that before, it's not a horrible sight, I'm supposed to love this sight, that can't mean I'm getting better, that's so stupid, it's just one thought right? Recovery doesn't come that fast...
When I had finished I realised how tired I was, I wasn't mad at the boys anymore, I guess they were just looking out for me, I was lucky to have them really. It annoyed me how they treated me like a kid, but I guess I am still a kid and so I decided to go to sleep and make up with them in the morning.

I awoke the next morning to the sound of voices calling me for breakfast. I surprised me how good of a mood I was in and so I took advantage of it and skipped downstairs to apologise to the boys.
"Morning Luke, have you seen Ash?"
"He's in the lounge, he feels really bad about last night, we all do, I'm so sorry, Em. We were just worried about you."
"It's okay, Lukey, I should have said where I was going anyways."
He smiled at what I had called him and pulled me in for a hug. He let me go and I wasted no time in skipping into the lounge. As soon as I walked in, Ashton ran over to me and hugged me like I was about to evaporate on the spot.
"I'm sorry Ash, I should've told you were I was going, I shouldn't have yelled at you for caring either, I guess I'm just not used to it yet." I realised I was crying, and noticed he was too,
"I'm so so sorry Emma, I didn't mean what I said, we do care, so much, I was just worried about you, you we still clean, right?" His voice broke at the end, and I knew my answer would hurt him so much so I stayed quiet. He gently pulled my arms towards him and rolled up my sleeves, the sight shocked me as much as I shocked him.
"This is all my fault, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay Ash, it's not your fault, relapse is a part of recovery." I said, smiling at him.
" you're so strong Emma, I'll be here the whole time, you're going to get better, I promise."
"I love you dad"
"I love you too Em"
And with that we both went to eat breakfast.

After breakfast I went out in search of my brother, this time however, telling the boys I was going out for a walked. Once I reached the apartment block where he supposedly lived, I sat on a bench outside for over an hour, composing myself and going over what I should say.
When I was finally ready, I walked inside and took the elevator to the third floor like it said to. I found the apartment that he lived in and knocked three times on the door. After a few minutes wait, a boy opened the door, not just a boy,
"James"
"Emma?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
So yeah, this is so long cause I've been writing it all day, I hope you like it
She finally found James! Ahhhh
I should have another chapter up tomorrow night but no promises cause I'm back at school on Monday after a week off and I have loads of homework :(
It's all so stressful as well as having to deal with fake friends and hypocrites ugh hate them, anyway yeah, hope you loved it, I can't believe I'm still writing this, at the start, I was just randomly writing and now I have over 700 reads,mats so exciting!
Please comment and vote! It would mean the world to me