Mafia Kingpin: A Dark, Thrilling Organized Crime Romance

Untitled Part 67

§ ELLIE §

I stood in my bedroom shakily, with a gun in my hands. I was trembling with fear. I was terrified for what was about to come.

But the truth was... I was weak. I was timid. I didn't know how to defend myself. And I was just so fucking miserable. I didn't see things getting better for me in my dark, shit life.

Maybe this would be the only way for all of my problems to go away...

I drew a deep breath in. In and out. In and out.

I was tired of my life. I was tired of my mental health playing tricks on me. I was tired of my depression. I was tired of my inner demons always telling me that I was worthless. Telling me that I was good for nothing. Telling me that I was never going to be anything in life. That I was never going to be happy. I was never going to achieve success. I was never going to grow up to be the woman that I wanted to be.

I was tired of my parents treating me like I was nothing. Every day, I suffered from emotional abuse at the mercy of them. The way they tortured me with their words. Made me feel like everything bad that happened to this family was my fault. Made me feel like if I'd never been born, this world would be a better place, and I wouldn't be causing them any problems.

I was tired of feeling lonely and having no friends. I was tired of other girls looking down at me, and laughing at me. Calling me a slut when my skirt was too short. Calling me a bitch when their boyfriend tried to ask me for my number... when they shouldn't be with a man that flirts with other women in the first place. Disliking me, and jesting me, even when I kept my mouth shut and tried my best to mind my own business. I was tired of men pretending to be nice to me and putting up a front, just to later try and get me in my pants. I was tired of men thinking that I was an easy fuck, that I was a trashy whore, that I had no self-respect.

And this rape situation didn't make it any easier for me. Every detail of what that sick bastard did to me replayed itself to me like a form of torture. I tried to shut out the pain... but I just couldn't. Time and time again, I found myself collapsed on my bedroom floor, rocking my head back and forth as I sobbed and screamed, wishing that I'd never been sexually abused.

I sighed, my body shaking into a frenzy, as the sweat droplets that were beading on my face slowly fell to the ground, drip-dropping on the floor.

I knew that I shouldn't do this...

But I just wanted everything to come to an end.

I took another deep breath in, my pulse raising through the roof. My heart was hammering so hard against my chest, it felt like it was going to jump out.

Oh Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.

I felt terrible about all the girls I'd bullied in my life. I felt terrible about every bad thing that I'd ever done. All the alcohol that I drank, all the parties that I went to, all the boys that I had sex with.

Forgive me, Lord...

I took a deep breath in.

It was time.

I shakily brought the gun up to my face, tears streaming down my cheeks. I slowly held it against my temple, and my life flashed before my eyes. All of my memories. Everything that I'd been through as I grew up, in my sixteen years of life.

Not-so-sweet fucking sixteen.

"Goodbye, Earth..." I murmured, and before I knew it...

I pulled the trigger, and collapsed onto the floor... dying in my own pool of blood.