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I lit up another cigarette, and began smoking it angrily.

I needed to fucking move on... I could have any girl I wanted. I had the power to bring married women to their fucking knees. Women always approached me whenever I went out, asking me for my number, asking me if I was interested in going out with them...

But it just hurt so fucking much. It hurt so fucking much that I'd lost Aliyah, the only woman that I'd ever loved.

She was the only girl that I ever had romantic feelings for, and she had to fucking do this to me. She had to leave a hole in my heart when she left me, and passed away...

But the fucked up thing is, I'd trade my life for hers any day.

I was so miserable. So fucking miserable. I didn't want to live my life like this anymore. Knowing that every day would be a battle with my own demons. A battle with my mental health.

I couldn't bear this fucking pain anymore.

I took the last puff of my cigarette, and then stomped it onto the ground. Even smoking wasn't making me feel any better anymore. Nothing would be able to make me feel better.

Absolutely nothing...

I reached back into my pocket, ready to take out a third cigarette. I needed to black out the pain... To relieve my stress, to numb it somehow...

But before I could take out another cigarette, my phone began to ring.

I rolled my eyes, agitated. I really couldn't be arsed speaking to anybody right now. Who the fuck was calling me now?

I just wanted one fucking day of peace, without doing dirty jobs for Steve... I just wanted a day to myself. I just wanted to forget about the real world, and my lifestyle for a while...

My own mental wellbeing was suffering as a result of it.

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