Mafia Kingpin: A Dark, Thrilling Organized Crime Romance

Part 178

Phone calls to mobiles from a prison payphone cost 40p a minute, and if I had a fiver a week to spend on food and keeping in contact with Ijaz that costed 40p a minute, then it meant that I could only speak to Ijaz for a few minutes. It was enough though. I missed him, and I just wanted to get out of this mess. To start a new life when I left prison, to start smashing the gym, start working in retail at FootLocker instead of making money the way I did. Settle down, find myself a nice girl, provide for Mum legitimately this time.

I was determined to leave my criminal past behind me once I'd served my sentence. I'd already given up my business in Bullring, that I used as a front to launder my dirty money. I had the business sold while I was on the inside. As well as that, I ordered for all of the dirty money that I made which I had in my bank account, to be given to charity.

I had nothing to my name now. Zero pounds. Nada. But it was the key for me to move forward with my life. I couldn't spend my blood money. That money was better off spent on feeding the poor and needy. At least now I would know that any money I made once I got out of here... I'd worked hard for, and didn't have to do any dirty jobs for.

On top of the lack of phone calls, though, the visiting time was really emotional. It was something that I didn't miss at all because of how tragic it was. I was left in a room, allowed a conjugal, where I could speak to Ijaz once or twice a month. He was driven all the way up to the prison, and I was just thinking about what I was going to say to him the whole time. Then when I came face-to-face with him my mind just went blank. It was a really rough situation because I had CCTV cameras looking over me, and prison officers looking over my shoulder, while I was trying to explain to my brother in crime how I felt. It was the worst environment to try and maintain a supporting relationship. I couldn't even say all of the things that I wanted to say, because I was being watched... and it was fucked up. I couldn't even speak to Ijaz alone, even if I was wearing handcuffs.

Whenever I came out of the visiting room or dialed off the phone, my mind then played what I'd said to Ijaz like a form of torture.

Nobody kept in touch with me except from him. Keelan didn't even know I was in jail, for all I knew. Abid and Trex probably didn't come to see me because they didn't want to talk to me with the feds watching, who'd see their faces and put two-and-two together, with the Mafia and everything.

Chantelle didn't say a word to me. I hadn't spoken to her, ever since I'd been arrested. After I met her at the club, we texted each other often, making each other laugh and enjoying each other's company. But we didn't meet again, because I was so busy and hell-bent on taking down Thomas. And as soon as I did, I got arrested...

It's a fucking shame, really. In a way, I couldn't blame her for not wanting anything to do with me. I told myself when I first met her that I was setting myself up for a failure, for a heartbreak... Because she was beautiful and successful, and didn't deserve to be with a criminal like me. I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about her while I was in jail, because I did... But I guess that ship had sailed. If she really still wanted to make things work, she would have come to see me, or write to me, at least... But five years is a really fucking long time for anyone to wait, so again, I couldn't blame her. I wish things didn't have to be like this, because Chantelle and I could have been something much more if I'd never got banged up... But our little fling, our dirty game, was over before it even began. I'd grown attached to her in such a short space of time, and I couldn't help but feel like a small piece of me had torn away from me with her when we stopped contacting each other...

But I had to forget about her and move on with my life. I couldn't keep dwelling on the past. I'd meet somebody else, if I just put my past behind me and started off with a clean slate...