Thinking About You

Chapter 1

"I order room service for one, champagne mini bar bottles are done. I've got a balcony room with a view. Velvet curtains are closed, I'm singing sad songs in a hotel room."

HARRY'S POV:

I'm playing the Forum night two tonight. It's the last night of tour. I feel sick to my stomach in guilt.

This was the show Naomi was most looking forward to playing. I took that opportunity away from her.

I did it for her though, I can promise that. Everything I said the night we broke up was disgusting and completely untrue.

I know that it was the right decision to end things, and it will help her in the long run. It'll all be okay.

We'll be alright.

We have to be.

But right now everything feels wrong.

The past year without her has been one of the worst years of my life.

Mitch is still pissed about what I did. Since he's still friends with her, I always try to ask him how she's doing. Most of the time he tells me I don't get to know. Sometimes if he can tell that I'm really down, he'll say she's doing fine.

The only friend of Naomi's I still talk to is Dani, and it's only because we knew each other before Naomi. She won't tell me much about Naomi though either except that she's doing well.

Oddly enough I miss her friends too. Whenever we would all hang out, it felt like I was in Cherry's own little world.

Anyway, I want to ask Mitch about her music, but I know I have no right to know.

I want to reach out to her more than anything, but I shouldn't. And she wouldn't want me to.

And that kills me.

She loved me, and now she probably couldn't stand to be in the same room as me.

And it's completely my fault.

But like I said, this will be for the best in the long run.

And that thought is the only thing that is helping push through this stage in my life.

One day she'll know the complete truth, she'll be deep in a music career, and we'll be together again.

Because it's us. We can get through anything.

I keep trying to explain this to Mitch but he always says I'm delusional and that I need to accept how bad I fucked up. Then I usually tell him how it was the only way. Then he usually goes on to tell me how there is always another way.

The thought of that keeps me up at night. But I'm really not sure that there was, knowing her.

She's so dedicated and loyal to the people she loves. She really didn't want to leave me or this tour. But she couldn't throw away a future that she's been dreaming about since she was a little girl. She couldn't. And I definitely couldn't be the reason.

I had to break up with her.

But she knew how much I love her, so she didn't believe me.

So I had to make up reasons.

Telling her I didn't love her, pained me. Telling her I didn't want her on tour with me, made me feel like the scum of the earth. And telling her I cheated on her was the worst thing I've ever done.

None of the words were true, but I still said them and hurt her.

I hurt her so much.

As soon as I stepped foot outside of that restaurant, I got in my car and broke down. I cried so hard I couldn't see.