Thinking About You

Chapter 21

"I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price for what I lost and what it cost"

NAOMI'S POV:

I'm sitting in the studio, everyone else is gone. I'm just messing around with some vocals.

Mitch asked if we could meet up somewhere. I told him where I was and said he could come.

Our friendship hasn't been the same since he pulled that stunt to get Harry and I talking again. And then I found out about him and Sarah knowing the truth this whole time so that didn't help.

I mean I always knew Harry was his best friend. His number one.

So after the breakup I figured he would pick sides and want nothing to really do with me. When that ended up not being true I was relieved. But I still knew Harry was his best friend.

But I also thought that it didn't make me any less of a friend to him. But after Mitch did what he did, it made me feel very insignificant in his life compared to Harry. It reminded me that he'll always be Harry's friend first.

Which makes sense, but also wasn't healthy for me so I distanced myself.

Mitch did what he thought was good for his best friend, but didn't care about what his other friend wanted.

Regardless of what happened that night, Mitch knew both sides of the story and chose who he wanted to help.

I don't know if our relationship will ever be the same.

As I sit waiting for his arrival I work on some vocals.

The song I'm working on right now doesn't have finished lyrics yet so I suppose I'm writing as well.

Right now it's hard to get anything done though. My mind is in a million different directions.

Trying to be productive right now is stupid of me but I have to give it a shot or I'll just sit at home and go crazy.

But at the same time being here feels like a chore now.

Making music was my dream and now that I have it I've overdone it.

I want my first album to be perfect but it's come at the cost of my sanity. It's my own fault, I know that.

Instead of working through anything, I've just thrown myself into my work.

I always use the excuse that music is my therapy, but now that music is also my job it changes things.

But I wanted this, and I got it. I can't complain.

I've been staring at the same unfinished lyrics for well over 2 hours now and it's infuriating.

I grab the piece of paper, crumple it, and throw it to the corner.

Then I set up one of the mics laying around and put it by the piano.

Then I hit record.

Maybe if I just start playing around something will work.

And if not... whatever.

But I have time to kill until Mitch gets here and I also paid for this studio time so I'm getting my money's worth. Or I guess it's actually the studios money? I'm not sure right now.

I start messing with some chords until I find a good progression. Then I just play that same progression over and over again for a few minutes.

I almost give up again until some words come back to me.

"Want it so I got it." I sing out softly.

"Did it so it's done." I finish the lyric.

I pause because I'm shocked that I finally feel good about something I've done today.