If love can fade then why cant pain?
I let it hurt until it couldn't anymore.
It changes you.
I think it's just the fact that now I need to remember her longer than I knew her.
Because healing doesn't mean forgetting.
But that doesn't matter right now.
Not in this moment, not right now. I feel triumphant, happy by their bloodcurdling screams. It's funny really, how one's pain is another's humour. I know of no mercy so I show none. The red liquid slowly slides down my face as I drop the body.
This is what I'm good at, this is what I was always meant to be. One moment of sadness, one moment of regret leads to fragility. And that moment is written on me, it scars me. So my anger is what keeps me going. Fear it or accept it. I prefer to control it.
It doesn't scare me the person I have become. Yet my own mind is foreign to me sometimes.
It's been 11 years. 11 years since I was thrown into the deep end. 11 years since my life completely turned around and I realized that people can raise hell. But during those 11 years, I had time to convince myself I'm fine. And I did. That doesn't mean I am fine. But I continue my life and focus on now.
There are a million galaxies yet we only permit ourselves to one, why live a dreaded life, why waste a day if there is so, so much more?
I'm getting distracted again.
"Are you doing alright?" Isabelle's voice rings through my ears
"perfect"
With my gun before me, I enter the room. Its a little office. White walls and wooden floor with a desk and fabric chair with a large cabinet behind it . Nothing special . I place a round object on the ground in front of me.
The sound of ticking alarms me as I begin to run at full speed. No thoughts, just run.
This is a quick mission, blow up their safe house and I'm done . Is there any particular reason? no, it's just to piss some really powerful men off and get my way. It's fun getting on peoples nerves and knowing they can do nothing about it.
I swear the ground shakes as the building is turned to rubble. I keep running and don't look back.
I make my way to the exit. The first thing I see is Isabelle waiting for me in the car.
This has got to be one of the best part of a mission, fleeing the action, watching the catastrophe you caused. The flames, the smoke in the sky. It lights everything up. It's thrilling, kind of like drugs but better. And I am not saying drugs are good thing.
Its surprising really, that what someone is good at could be something concerning, something to fear or worry about. But I mean being part of a mafia, would you expect any less? People are entitled to fear you, shrivel away from your sight, silence others when they hear your name.
"Aut Viam Inveniam aut faciam", something my dad likes to live by and expects me to.
Murder is like reading a book, you cant stop after chapter one you have to keep going until you feel fulfilled with what you've read or it drives you crazy.
We turn into the secluded area where my home is located. The gates open and thats when I'm greeted with the biggest piece of shit I've ever met.
My father.
The gravel crunches beneath my feet as I approach the building.
I come face to face with the sick excuse I get to call my dad. He only stares at me probably noticing my red stained face and gives me a nod of approval.
YOU ARE READING
Broken Constellation
Romance"blood on your hands they say- as though it stops there ; at your wrists, like a glove as though you could do all of this and there couldn't be a part of you that isn't stained or dripping" They say the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons an...
