I try to tell myself that It happened such a long time ago.
That I was so young.
But It never made sense.
It never fucking made sense.
I believed him. And maybe that was more my own fault than it was his.
They didn't kill her, they didn't kill her so who did?
Giovanni?
It would have to be.... but why?
The room falls silent, the reverberations of the first punch still lingering .
I go in for another blow, the force of my fist meeting flesh sending shockwaves through my arm. The impact reverberates through the room. But I don't stop there. My confusion and anger seems to push me forward, allowing me to strike again and again.
With each punch, I feel the numbness creeping into my hands, a distant sensation. But I ignore it, pushing past the pain, the numbness, the doubt.
Everything seems to become a blur, Its as if time stands still as I continue to punch releasing my anger, but with each hit I find no satisfaction or solace.
I cannot believe him. I can't.
There is no way. There is no way.
My mother is dead, She is dead because of the person who she loved.
What the actual fuck!
It's not even anger at this point, Its disbelief. I cannot understand why, I don't want to. All I know is that Giovanni is a fucking liar. He lied and I will find out why.
Its not fair, Its not fucking fair.
He lies about a lot of things, but this. This is different.
I want to hurt him, I want to kill him, but I don't want to ruin my dress.
I don't want to ruin my dress.
Fuck the dress I can get a new one.
I lift my arm again, but it's caught, suspended in the air, held back by a very nice hand.
Zayden.
I don't try to pull my arm away, I know that if I try it will be no use.
"Let go" I breathe, the words uneven and tired on my tongue.
" I don't think you would want to get blood on that pretty dress Дорогой"
What? What the hell does that mean?
Oh my god. Somebody just take me out of here.
I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
Everybody is staring, looking at us with a curiosity I cannot stand, God I want to cut those looks off their faces.
I look around and find Isabelle, her eyes are wide with worry and a tentativeness that I would describe as embarrassment.
God, I've embarrassed myself.
I look back at zayden. God why does he need to be so handsome.
Right now his hold on me seems to be the only stable thing in this place.
I try to regulate my breathing but it doesn't work. Nothing works.
"lets go" He turns his head to the door and I'm tempted.
I'm so fucking tempted.
What would happen if I went with him? What would happen if I just killed Giovanni?What would happen if I just gave up?
I go to nod, but I'm pulled back by my other arm.
I shiver at the touch and flinch.
How is he not fucking unconscious?
Giovanni is on the floor trying to pull me down or pull himself up, regardless I am left with no time to intervene as Zayden kicks him straight in the jaw sending him tumbling back.
I run. I run out of the room, out of the dinner, out into the streets, and stand in the open space.
I stand there and then I sit. In the middle of the road.
It's been 11 years and I still feel a guilt that I will never be able to place. Still feel a remorse that I will never rid myself of. I still wish that I could've gotten to know the woman who loved me like no-one else would or could've. And maybe it's unhealthy or wrong of me to ponder on the past and all the what ifs, but I do.
The door opens and I pull out my gun and turn around rising from my feet.
Zayden and Isabelle stand there.
Isabelle stands back as zayden approaches slowly.
They look at me as if I'm some scared animal that will run away if they move too suddenly.
"Do you want to go?" He asks me and I nod my head.
I move past him walking up to Isabelle and grab onto her.
"Are you okay" She asks.
It's such a simple fucking question. But I can't answer it.
"lets go home" I reply and she nods in understanding
We move along, the streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement. Zayden keeps a few steps behind us like a silent guardian until we get to the car he called for us.
He lets us in first and then follows us in. I lay my head on Isabelle's shoulder, feeling an unbearable need to cry.For what I don't know. But I don't allow myself to.
I try not to think of anything on the way back to my place, but the entire trip the word "Father" echoes in my mind.
Funny it's the one thing I never had.
_________________________________
Another short chapter I know, But the relationship between Zayden and Ariana is going to grow soon.
regardless I hope you all enjoyed!<3
(let me know if there is anything you guys want to see)
word count: 830
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Broken Constellation
Romance"blood on your hands they say- as though it stops there ; at your wrists, like a glove as though you could do all of this and there couldn't be a part of you that isn't stained or dripping" They say the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons an...
