Broken Constellation

Chapter34

I'm not awaken by the sun. 

No, instead I wake up to the noise of pain.

I look to  the clock next to my bed.

3am, fuck.

I throw off my pillows, walking out of my room.

I follow the noise until I meet a door I haven't been in yet.

There's no guards stationed at the room and I try to open the door.

It's locked, But the noises continue.

I use my knife to unlock it, rushing inside, a gasp leaving my mouth when I look at what's inside.

More like who.

zayden is laying on his bed, his shirt off, his hair messy but face perfectly ethereal except for the frown downturning his features. I walk towards him as he shifts as if in pain.

What do I do?

I approach him, placing my hand on his shoulder and shaking him. He stills at the feel of my hand on his shoulder and that's when I feel myself yanked onto the bed as he flips me under him holding a knife to my throat.

Well this is different to our usual predicament,

"Zayden" I grab his hand holding the knife trying to pull it off of me.

Where did he even get the knife from?

 His weight on top of me is overbearing and my breathing quickens.

I don't want to spook him more, don't want to do anything that might just make that knife slice across my neck.

"Zayden" I hiss as he tightens his hold on my neck.

I look at him, unable to see the contours of his face as the dark covers him from me.

"Zayd, What does Malen'kiy Monstr mean" I soften my voice to a caress, trying to distract him from whatever it is that haunts his sleep.

He stills and that's when I take the opportunity to move myself to sit upright and release myself of the weight of his body.

He looks so vulnerable, his head hanging down as he looks at the knife in his hands. 

God I told myself I'd never touch him for any reason other than to hurt him. But it seems like I will need to forget about that.

I grab his head in my hands and make him look at me.

God If he wasn't more of a mess than me right now I would be embarrassed for him to see me like this.

He stiffens and I laugh.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, my face holding nothing but concern as I stare into those green eyes of him that are masked away from the dark.

He hums , I can feel him nod his head up and down.

"Did I hurt you?" I can hear the slight hint of panic in his voice, though I don't know why It is there.

"Don't worry It wouldn't be the first time" I attempt to lighten the mood but for some reason those words make him tense again.

This guy confuses me. 

He had absolutely no issue in having to kill me and torture me before, yet now he wants to feel guilty.

Boys.

"You didn't hurt me" I roll my eyes assuring him 

He doesn't reply moving away.

"Little monster" His voice is almost a whisper.

A smile makes its way onto my face. 

I know.

"Do you need anything?" I don't offer him the comfort of  speaking about it because he obviously won't want to and I don't want to embarrass myself and let him think I care.

"I'm good" He replies 

I move up off his bed and go to walk out.

"You know Darling, It seems I've been the one holding your life in my hands, you are loosing at your own game." His voice is tired but light.

"It's not a game" 

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Zaydens Pov 

"Its not a game"

It's not a game? What does that even mean? 

I watch Ariana leave my room, her form barely visible in the darkness. The door closes softly behind her, and I find myself staring at the spot where she stood. My heart is still racing, my mind trying to process what just happened.

I run my fingers through my hair. I glance at the knife in my hand, the cold metal glinting in the faint light. I don't even remember grabbing it. I remember the nightmare vividly though. The screams, the helplessness. It is always the same. 

And she  pulled me out of it.

I lay back down. The concern in her eyes as she woke me up, the way she touched me.

I sit up again, unable to shake the feeling. She had come to me out of concern. Despite everything, she cared.

I shouldn't be getting ahead of myself.

 I lean against the bed frame, closing my eyes. "Ariana," I whisper, knowing she can't hear me. "What are we doing?"

Her words come back to me, "It's not a game." If it's not a game, then what is it? Redemption? Something more? Something less?

I stare at the knife.

I hate that she saw me so vulnerable.

My little monster just saved me from my own demons. 

But I wish she hadn't. I deserve to endure the hauntings of my sins. 

 I want to, because it is a reminder.

A reminder of who I am.

A reminder of all I've done.

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This chapter is shorter than usual, but Its a little treat for you guys! 

Word count:865