Long Away

Chapter 38

CW: non-explicit description of sexual activity

The next few days showed Ben just how much he had underestimated the impact of his actions. It didn't matter how many times he apologized to his boyfriend. It didn't matter how much effort he put into trying to make him smile, how many chores he took upon himself, how much he spoiled Roger. Things were not going back to how they were before. It was as if everything between them was now in question. "I don't know how much I can trust you anymore." The words still echoed in Ben's mind, as ravaging as ever. He didn't know how, but he needed to fix this. If it wasn't already too late.

For the day of the party, Brian had rented a van they were now loading their instruments into. While Roger was busy with his drum set, Ben took the opportunity to quietly talk to Freddie.
"So, about the song..."
Freddie tilted his head when he hesitated.
"I am not really getting anywhere with it."
"What is the problem? You know you were just supposed to write down what you want to tell him."
"Yes, that's the problem. I don't know. I mean, I know what I want to achieve with it, but I don't know what he wants to hear."
Freddie hummed, thinking.
"Do you want me to talk to Rog? Maybe I can get something out of him."
Ben's shoulders sagged as a weight he didn't realize was there was lifted from them.
"That would be great. Thanks, Fred."

"Are you all ready to go?", Brian asked, slamming the back door of the van shut.
"Who is driving?", John wanted to know.
"Not me," Roger mumbled, and got into the back seat. Freddie put a hand on Ben's arm, pushing him to follow. Roger didn't look too pleased when Ben sat down beside him.
"Are you alright?" Ben hoped there was no trace of his hurt feelings to be heard.
"Sure," Roger said with a forced smile. Ben wanted to tell him that there was nothing he could do if he didn't talk to him, but decided to drop the conversation for now. He didn't want to risk starting another fight right before a performance.

Freddie joined the two in the back, while Brian took over the steering wheel, and John was left with the passenger's seat. Their destination was a property right outside of the city. During the half hour drive, Freddie and Ben tried desperately to engage Roger in a conversation. Their attempts bore no fruit. The blonde remained silent, save for a few one-worded answers.

When they arrived at the location, Ben's mind got taken off of his concerns for a second. The house was surprisingly large. If the host was around Freddie's age, it most likely belonged to their parents. Two women came out of the front door to welcome them when they saw Brian pulling into the driveway. They got out of the van and Freddie greeted his acquaintance.
"Hello Tanya! You look stunning today. Is that dress one of your own designs?"
"Freddie! I'm so glad you could make it! And yes, it is. Thanks for the compliment."

Ben stopped paying attention to their conversation. He saw that Roger was eyeing the building with interest. Perhaps this was a chance for some light hearted smalltalk.
"Looks pretty fancy, doesn't it?", he said. Roger shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess. Certain looks like it can fit a lot of people. How many guests do you think there will be?"
Ben relaxed a bit. He was just glad that Roger was talking to him, albeit not about any serious topic.
"I don't know. But probably a bunch if they hired a band."

Brian waved to them from across the driveway.
"Did you two listen? We're driving the equipment to the back entrance of the garden. Are you coming?"
"On our way!", Roger called. Ben tried his luck and reached for his boyfriend's hand as they walked back to the van. Roger whisked it away.
"Not in front of those people," he uttered under his breath.
"Sorry." Ben swallowed his disappointment and pretended like that really was the reason he didn't want to hold hands. He almost started to believe it. Almost.

By the time they were done setting everything up in the spacious garden, the guests had arrived as well.
"So, I talked to Tanya and she said we could take a break for an hour half way through our set. Just maybe don't get too drunk," Freddie said.
"We'll see about that," John joked.
"Do you want to grab a drink together?", Ben asked Roger, though he didn't expect him to say yes at this point.
"Maybe. I don't know if I'll have anything yet."
Ben sighed.
"Alright then."

He grabbed his guitar and stood next to John. Since the incident at his first gig, he had only played with the band on a few occasions. He still wasn't quite used to it, neither was he in the mood to perform right now. Maybe he would ask Freddie if they could do the second half without him. Getting drunk alone in some corner of the garden sounded a lot more appealing.

How Ben managed to pull through the performance, he didn't know. He was running on autopilot the whole time, but to his own surprise, he knew his chords well enough by now to not make any noticeable mistakes.
It had gotten a little chilly outside, and many of the guests had retreated inside, but a few were still at the foot of the stage, cheering as the last song came to a close.

"Thank you, everyone, we will be back on stage later."
Ben didn't care to wait until Freddie was done talking. He put down the guitar and turned to Roger. Without much hope, he asked him again.
"Have you made up your mind?"
"I guess one drink is fine," Roger said. Ben's face lit up.
They walked up to a table on the back porch that had a selection of alcoholic beverages and some plastic cups. Roger poured himself a beer, and Ben followed suit. They sat down on the steps to the lawn.

"You seemed a little absent minded back there," Roger said.
"Is everything alright?"
Ben took a sip from his beer.
"I could ask you the same question. You keep saying you're not mad, but it feels like you are."
Roger hesitated.
"Are you? At least tell me," Ben asked.
Roger sighed.
"I'm not. This is just a lot to process."
"Then what can I do? The way you act... I can't take it anymore." Ben felt himself getting close to crying. Instead of answering, Roger chugged down the rest of his drink.
"I'm gonna go look for a bathroom," he said, and disappeared into the house.

Ben scoffed. What a way to end a conversation. A tear escaped his eye, and he wiped it away. Freddie was still standing with the group of people by the stage. Someone had brought him a beer as well, and he was talking to a guy who looked kind of familiar. Ben decided to go and remind him of his offer to talk to Roger. As he got closer, the realization where he knew the other man from suddenly hit him.

"Oh, there you are, darling!" Freddie had a bright smile on his face.
"May I introduce you to Jim?"
"Pleasure to meet you, I'm Ben," he said, shaking his hand.
"The pleasure is mine." Jim had a sparkle in his eyes that told Ben Freddie was doing a lot better in terms of romance than him. It was probably for the best if Ben left them alone.
"Well then, I don't want to interrupt you two. I'll see you later, Fred."
"Later, dear. Have fun!"

Ben walked off and finished his beer. Roger was still inside, it looked like. Brian and John were nowhere to be seen either. Not sure what else to do with himself, Ben poured himself another drink and went in as well.
He entered a loud and crowded room. Over on a sofa, Brian was talking to some people. Ben pushed his way through to him.
"Hey Bri. Did you see Roger by chance?"
Brian pointed to a hallway with a staircase branching off at the other side of the room.
"I saw him going upstairs a few minutes ago."
"Alright, thanks."

Ben left his cup on a table, and once again scurried past the other guests. How a university student could be popular enough to have this many people over was beyond him.
Right next to the staircase, he noticed a small bathroom. He furrowed his brow. If there was one right here, what was Rog doing upstairs? From down here it didn't look like anyone else was upstairs either. Ben hesitated. Maybe Brian was mistaking? Then again, where else would he be? Ben pushed his doubt aside and climbed the stairs.

And really, now that the noise from the living room wasn't overshadowing everything else anymore, Ben could hear someone talking behind a closed door. He thought he heard Roger's voice, and at least one other. Ben didn't know what he was expecting when he opened the door, but it certainly wasn't what he found.

Emma was pinning Roger down on a bed, their clothes carelessly scattered on the floor. Three jaws dropped as Ben stared at them in shock. Emma gasped, and quickly covered her bare breasts with her hands. Ben stepped back, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Ben... wait," Roger stammered.
With a swift motion of his hand, Ben slammed the door shut, ran downstairs, and out of the house.

***

Hey guys! I am having way too much fun with this. Did you see this coming? I hope you're excited for next chapter, because things are about to get even better.

Tay