Long Away

Chapter 63

Joe wasn't sure why he agreed to see Gwil the next day. But he didn't just want to back out now, so he forced himself out of bed and under the shower. This morning he skipped his medication, and he was surprised to find that he could already tell a small difference. It really had been because of the pills that he had felt worse.
After getting ready, he wrote an email to his psychiatrist to schedule an appointment. He still had a bit of time before he had to leave to get to the park Gwil had suggested on time. The current social distancing rules only allowed for contact in the open.
Joe decided to use his time to do what he had been avoiding since last night and check his social media.

He had been tagged a ridiculous amount of times in the comments under two Instagram posts in particular. Brian and Gwil had both posted about Roger's death, and it seemed the fandom was not too happy that Joe hadn't done the same. With a frown forming on his face, he scrolled through the comments.
It was shocking to see how many people interpreted his inactivity as apathy. While some were defending him, saying that it had only been one day, it was clear that they all expected him to post something soon. Joe sighed. Maybe Gwil could help him out again. Joe himself still had a hard time putting the misery in his mind into words that didn't disturb other people. He sent Gwil a text that he would be on his way and left the apartment.

A good twenty minutes later Joe parked his car near the location. As he walked the rest of the way, he realized it had been a few weeks since he last took a stroll outside. The weather wasn't great. Clouds were covering most of the sky, but according to Joe's weather app it wasn't supposed to rain. They would have to see if it was right.
When Joe reached the entrance to the park, he checked his phone again. Gwil said he would be waiting by a bench near by. Joe looked around, but the only people he could see were a couple sharing a goodbye kiss before one of them walked away... Wait, wasn't that Ben's doctor? Joe looked after him. Yes, it definitely was. When his eyes flitted back to the other person, Joe's jaw dropped. With a flustered expression, Gwil raised his hand to wave him over.

Joe didn't hide his confusion when he approached him.
"Hi? What did I miss?"
"Hi Joe... It's not really what it looks like," Gwil stammered. "I just ran into him and-"
"And he just kissed you out of nowhere? Yeah, say no more, I'm already convinced."
Gwil chuckled nervously.
"Well, no. But also- kind of? We went on a few casual dates, but I didn't really expect that."
"You never mentioned you were into him," Joe said. It stung a little that his friend wouldn't tell him something like that.

"Actually, I am not sure if I am... I just asked him out because I thought if I did, he might allow me to see Ben more often."
Joe skeptically raised an eyebrow.
"And he actually does," Gwil added quickly.
"Wait, really? That doesn't seem very... legal."
"Yeah... Turns out, he's not the most professional person. Anyway, I never get to stay for long, but I just feel better keeping an eye on him, you know?"

"Yeah... I can imagine? Why didn't you say anything?"
Gwilym knew better than anyone how much Joe been struggling since they put the restrictions into place. He didn't know how to feel about this revelation.
"I just wasn't sure how to bring it up," Gwil mumbled.
"But I was going to tell you today."
Joe crossed his arms in front of his chest. Was he really? It was pretty suspicious that he would say that after Joe had found out about it himself. Then again, maybe it was just a coincidence. Joe didn't want to break off a fight over this, so he decided not to comment on it.

"I did ask if he could make an exception for you too," Gwil added.
"But he said no. I'm sorry."
"That's fine," Joe murmured, still struggling to process the situation. He had about a million questions and didn't know where to start asking.
Gwil cleared his throat. He was visibly uncomfortable, which only made Joe more confused.
"Do you want to walk a few steps?", Gwil asked.
"Sure."

Gwil lead the way down a gravel path to a small pond. Neither knew what to say, and for a while, the crunching of the stones under their soles was the only sound breaking through an uncomfortable silence.
Eventually, Joe had sorted out what he needed to know first.
"How long have you been seeing him for?"
Gwil hesitated, his face blank and untelling. Was he trying to hide something, or was Joe reading too much into this?
"A few weeks," he avoided the underlying question. Joe was getting impatient.
"Yes, I guessed as much. How long after they made the restrictions?"
"Around the same time," Gwil mumbled.
Joe stopped in his tracks.
"That's been over a month. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
With a sigh, Gwil turned around to face him.

"Because I knew you wouldn't react well. I asked right away if we both could get special treatment. When Henry said no, I asked if you could get it instead of me, but he won't let that slide, and I didn't want to keep pushing because that would have sabotaged everything. Please Joe, you have to believe me. I never wanted for you to get left out."
The remorseful look in his eyes made Joe feel guilty.
"I guess that makes sense," he admitted. Of course Gwil did everything he could. Why would he doubt him even for a second?
"So we're good then?", Gwil asked carefully.
Joe shot him a forgiving smile.
"Yeah. We're good."

***

Hey guys!

One year ago today, I published the first chapter of this story.
I didn't think it would turn out to be this long, or that I would still be writing it now, but here we are.
I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank everyone for reading, you are all very much appreciated!

Tay