Long Away

Chapter 60

A loud noise brought Joe back to consciousness. Someone had forcefully broken the bathroom door open to get to him.
"Oh my god, Joe!" He recognized Rami's voice. He blinked, but his vision was blurry, his head fuzzy. At first, all he could tell was that he was on the floor, and his head hurt. Two people in dark green uniforms rushed to his side.
"Can you hear me?", one of them, a young woman, asked as she grabbed his wrist, checking for his pulse.
"Er..."

It took Joe a few seconds to remember what had happened. He was taking a shower, Rami and Gwil had forced him to, since their dinner with Roger was tomorrow. But Joe hadn't eaten anything since Gwil told them about Ben, and the steam of the hot water had made him dizzy. He just managed to put on a pair of jeans before he collapsed. He was still holding his t-shirt in his hand, as he realized now that his head started to clear up.

"Yes. I hear you," he mumbled.
"Are you in any pain?"
"No," Joe lied. The last thing he wanted right now was to be taken to the hospital. How was he supposed to visit Ben if he was stuck on another ward? And as much as he was dreading the dinner tomorrow, it was important to him to see Roger.
Joe overheard the other paramedic asking Gwil for some towels. He then turned to Joe while Gwil grabbed them from the bathroom cabinet.
"We will use them to lift up your feet, so your blood will flow back to your head," he explained.
"That's not necessary, I'm fine."

With a grunt, Joe pushed himself up. His arms were shaking under his weight, and he was seeing sparks for a few seconds, but he managed to sit upright.
"I'm not sure that's such a good idea..." The woman eyed him skeptically.
"Like I said, I'm fine," he insisted.
"Joe, please let them help you," Rami tried to reason with him.
"I don't need any help!", Joe snapped.
"I just need to eat something and then I'll be fine. Please, leave me alone."

"Do you think he should see a doctor?", Gwil asked the medics.
"Well, we can't force him to come with us," the man said.
"I do think it would be safer if he did though."
Gwil gave him a pleading look.
"Joe?"
"I already said no." Joe put on his shirt and contemplated if he should just walk out of the room. But he wasn't so sure if he would make it to his bedroom without collapsing again. Not that he cared much if something happened to him at this point, but he at least wanted to wait until the paramedics were gone.
"You can always call us again later if you change your mind," the woman said, the hint of frustration in her voice wasn't lost on Joe. He didn't care.
"Thanks, but I won't."

Rami sighed heavily.
"Joe, sometimes you really are impossible."
"Thanks. Can I please be alone now?"
Rami and Gwil exchanged a look, nodded at each other.
"I'll show you to the door," Gwil said to the paramedics. They left the room, but Rami stayed right were he was, leaning against the door frame, and looked down at Joe with a mix of frustration and helplessness in his eyes.

"Are you actually going to eat something now or did you just say that to get them to leave?"
Joe shrugged.
"I don't really care either way. So, if it makes you happy..."
Rami scoffed.
"That sounded very different the last four days."
Ignoring his comment, Joe reached for the edge of the bathtub. He needed something to hold on to if he wanted to get on his feet.
Rami tilted his head, watching with concern.

"Do you need help?"
He made a step toward Joe, but he shook his head.
"I got this."
It took him a few seconds, but to his own surprise his legs didn't give out on him. He was breathing heavily. Rami quickly opened the window, and Joe shot him a grateful smile.
"How about you catch some air while I get you a snack?"
Joe wisely decided not to protest his friend's offer.
"Fine."

Rami hurried into the kitchen, and Joe stood by the window, letting the fresh air clear his head of the last remaining dizziness. He could just see the ambulance driving off down the street. What would Ben say if he could see him now? Joe sighed. It didn't matter. He couldn't. Perhaps never again. Thoughts like this stung even more now. Before, a part of Joe thought he was just being unreasonably anxious. But now it was no longer unreasonable. Even Ben's doctors didn't know what was wrong. They couldn't do anything to help him. They could only wait. And the longer Joe waited, the more the pain and fear became an integral part of every waking moment.