Long Away

Chapter 40

"Benny? What are you doing there?"
Roger stood in the doorway to their bedroom. Ben sat at the desk, scribbling down his notes as Freddie had told him to. A few days had gone by since the incident at the party. Both he and Roger had taken a week off to work through the shock. It had given Ben a lot of time to think. Last night, he had made a decision. He knew what he wanted to tell his boyfriend now. Ben quickly folded the paper and put his pen aside.
"That's a surprise," he said.

Roger walked over to him and leaned himself against the desk, a skeptical look on his face.
"I don't know if another surprise is exactly what I need right now."
Ben put his hand on Roger's.
"Oh, I think you will lo-ike this one, my love."
Roger rolled his eyes, smiling.
"If you say so," he sighed.
He paused, and a frown replaced his amused expression.
"Is something wrong?", Ben asked, concerned.
Roger shook his head.
"No, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to ask you something."
"What is it, my love?"

Roger nervously fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt.
"So, I just called at a therapist's office and they put me on the waiting list."
"That's good news, honey!" Ben was glad that he had finally decided to take this step and seek help.
"Mhm, I guess. But I don't know if I will manage to go there alone. Do you think you could come with me? At least in the beginning?"
"Of course. That's not a problem at all. I know that this isn't easy for you. If I can help in any way, then I will."

"Thank you."
Roger leaned in to place a kiss on Ben's lips. He let his hand wander through Ben's hair before pulling away with a soft smile.
"I'll go make us dinner. You can keep working on that surprise of yours."
"I will," Ben said with a loving smile.
"Oh, and honey?", he added just before Roger could close the door behind himself.
"I love you."
"I love you too."

Ben hurried to finish up his notes. As soon as he was done, he went to check on Roger. He was sitting at the small table they had in the kitchen in addition to the larger dining table in the living room, cutting up a bunch of different vegetables.
"Can I help you with anything?", Ben asked.
Roger looked up and pointed at a bag of potatoes on the counter.
"You can peel those, if you want."
"On it."

As mundane as the task was, Ben was incredibly grateful for every moment he got to spend with his boyfriend. After everything that had happened in the previous week, he was not taking anything for granted anymore. Just being able to talk to Roger without any harsh words being spewed, or tears being spilled, felt like a blessing. He had been truly scared that their relationship would not recover from all of this, but luckily those worries held no truth.

After eating their dinner, they snuggled up on the sofa together to watch some TV. Roger was holding Ben, who was almost dozing off when Roger suddenly spoke in a serious tone.
"Honey? Can I just say how thankful I am for having you?"
Ben turned to face him.
"I've been thinking the same thing, love," he said softly.
Roger drew in a deep breath.

"What I mean is, I'm thankful for how you reacted. I wanted to tell you about what happened for a while, but I was really afraid of what you would say. The last person I dated did not understand it at all. She said that it shouldn't be such a big deal for a guy, because all we want is sex, apparently."

Ben frowned. He rarely felt the urge to punch someone, much less people he didn't even know, but this was one of the few instances where he did.
"That's so stupid of her. I'm sorry."
Roger shook his head.
"Don't be sorry. I'm just glad you're not like that."
"Of course not." Ben brought his hand up to Roger's cheek.
"I love you. And it breaks my heart that you had to go through all of this. Honestly, the first thought I had when Brian told me what happened was that I wish you had willfully cheated on me instead."

"Really?", Roger asked, surprised.
"Yes. I'd rather be hurt by you than have you get hurt."
Roger needed a moment to process what he said.
"Well...", he answered eventually, "I'm sorry to disappoint you then. Because I could never hurt you on purpose. I love you way too much for that."
"I love you too," Ben whispered, before pulling Roger in for a kiss.

"Benny?", Roger mumbled against his skin.
"I've never felt this safe with anyone before."
Ben felt a tightness in his throat. Roger's words almost made him tear up.
"You are safe with me, love. I promise."
Roger closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into the crook of Ben's neck.
"And you are safe with me," he whispered back.

***
Hey guys! A little bit of fluff for you. I hope you enjoyed it despite the lack of drama. Until next chapter,

Tay