// amethyst //
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"the worst part was we almost made it."
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it's been a week and I'm done with my life. my parents and I haven't spoken since that night and I'm glad we haven't honestly.
and michael, I've been smoke- free for a week now. I was going to tell him today that I ended my habit. I know how proud he'd be of me.
I leave my house around one, driving over to his place which won't take too long. I face temptation grabbing a cigarette out of my Marlboro box, but I have to do this for him. only him.
I put in the spare key he gave me to his house, unlocking his door quickly.
"michael?" I say, walking around the house.
"michael." I whine, going to his bedroom, with the door shut. I open it to see something I'll never regret.
his lips are pressed to someone new. someone who isn't me.
"mike?" I say confused, his lips pulling away from hers and eyes widening in worry.
"Ames I-"
"save your shit Michael." I start. "I came over here to tell you that I quit my bad habit. to tell you that you can come back now. but I know now! this isn't because of my fucking habit! it's because you-you want her! not me!"
"no I love you! I just don't know what happened!" he says running both of his hands through his hair.
"it's okay michael. you have her now. I mean look at her. thick brown hair, tan skin, perfect. so have fun with her." I say, walking through the door of his house, slamming it behind me. I get into my car and blare the music through the speakers. my temptation comes back, and this time, I don't shove it away.
while his lips are pressed to hers, my lips are pressed to my cigarette.
when I arrive home, all I can think about is leaving. I need to leave this place. I have no reason to stay anymore. nothing to hold me back.
my parents have made me have this college fund where I put money in a jar and save for college, but everyone knows there's nothing out there for me. there's nothing that I was bound to do in this world. I thought this was the perfect time to use it since I won't be attending college anytime soon.
I grab the biggest duffel bag I can find and shove all of the clothes that I like in my bag, since my parents have always bought me the preppy clothes. they all disgust me. I pack all the things that I need in my life, leaving mostly everything in my room.
this is the end. the end of my life in Sydney, Australia. the end of my life stuck with assholes as parents. the end of my life with the one hell of a dick, michael clifford. this is the end here.
that night, at around one in the morning, I grab all of my things. before I leave, I walk around the house several times. I think of all the memories, even though most of them were bad, memories are memories.
that's when I get to my baby sisters room. this is going to be the hardest part, saying goodbye to my baby Lola. I'll never get to see her grow up, never get to see her fall in love, or see her get married. but after all she'll probably be better off without me anyways. she doesn't need me in her life. she doesn't need one drug addict as a sister in her life to influence her to do it too. she just doesn't need it. after all, my parents will have a new start. without me, they'll have an absolutely amazing life. they'll be able to have the perfect daughter they've always wanted. they'll be able to trust her and be proud of everything she does. they'll be happy without me.
I walk over to her crib, admiring how beautiful she'll be, and is now. her short golden hair and her smooth skin gleam in the moonlight shining through the blinds. I press a simple kiss to her forehead, trying my best not to wake her.
"alway be who you want to be." I whisper to her, she doesn't even know I'm saying this to her or that I'm leaving.
"goodbye." I say, my voice cracking once I close her door behind me.
I don't say goodbye to my parents. they'll be better off without me in their lives.
I call a contact in my phone, not knowing what time it could be there.
"hello?"
"hey Val, do you mind if I stay with you for a bit?"
•••••••••
hey guys!!
part 2 of before !
hope you like it!
thank you for reading! please tell people about this thank you!!
and amethyst is cast as Britt Robertson!
look her up if you don't know her! byeee
