// michael //
-
" she spent her whole life fixing broken hearts, yet she didn't know how to fix her own."
-
I knock on the door just loud enough for someone to hear, it opening instantly. it reveals her mother with a look of sadness and disappointment plastered on her face.
"do you know w-where she is?" she asks me kindly, very unlike her.
"amethyst?" I ask her confusedly, her nodding her head with pleading eyes.
"she's gone?" I ask her in disbelief. "right when I fucked up she leaves."
"do you know?" she asks me again.
"no ma'am I don't." my voice straining from my words.
"oh. I thought that maybe you'd know. sorry." she says, her brown eyes breaking inside. I just realized, that's probably the nicest thing she's ever said to me. I watch her shut the door quietly and I lose it. my body begins to shake and I can't breathe whatsoever. I fall to my knees with my chest gasping for air. I cover my tear stained cheeks with my hands and try to calm myself down. I've lost her. she's gone. nowhere to be found. right when I ruined everything with her, she leaves. and I didn't even have time to make it right. I didn't even get to tell her how sorry I am for what I've done to her. to tell her that it had nothing to do with the cigarettes, I don't think I could've been able to see her face if I told her I was cheating on her. I don't even know why I started seeing that girl. she's nothing compared to amethyst and I don't know how I didn't see that. with her, she is as perfect as a doll, but honestly, I don't want that at all. I only want amethyst. no, she isn't perfect, but she's all I could ever want. I want our stupid talks about absolutely nothing, I want the way we look at each other even though we bicker most of the time. I want everything and only with her. now that she's gone, I won't be able to make up for everything I've done. it's all my fault she's gone. all because of me. I don't know if I'm going to handle it all, knowing it's only me that caused that.
I try to drive back home, but it only makes me miss her more. I pull over into the side of the road and bang my hands against the steering wheel. she can't be gone she can't be. just the other day she was telling me that I kept her going, and that she won't go unless I do. this is all my fault. all my fucking fault. I broke her last string and I'm the only one to blame.
I've let her go and I can't get her back. I don't have a clue where she can be. her parents don't know, I don't know, I don't know how I'm going to find her, but I will. and I'm going to get her back, no matter what it takes.
damn I miss her so much. like when your mom or dad dies and you were super close with them, that's what i feel right now. I feel like it's the end of the world without her here. I feel like my world is crashing down right in front of me. this is the first time I've ever had to deal with this, to deal with someone leaving without me knowing. nobody has ever left me suddenly without letting me know, they've never left me stranded. everyone that's left has left with a 'goodbye' or a 'see you later', not her though. and what sucks the most is its the only girl I love who left me alone. I know she probably thinks I left her, when I did. I abandoned her for someone who doesn't compare to her at all. from now on, it'll be the thing I regret most in my life.
I'll be okay. she'll be okay. I tell myself, trying to calm myself down. I breath in and out slowly, wiping all the tears that have fallen from my eyes, and start my car once again.
I'll be okay. she'll be okay.
I'll be okay. she'll be okay.
I'll be okay. she'll be okay.
i arrive at home, it being the only thing running through my mind.
I'll be okay. she'll be okay.
I'll be okay. she'll be okay.
I'll be okay. she'll be okay.
when I snap back into reality, I am crying once again.
I sit in the darkest corner of my room, running my hands through my faded lilac hair every now and then, but all I can think is
she may be okay,
but I'm sure im not.
••••••••••
there's Michael's POV!!
thank you for reading once again!
I hope you like it!
tell me what you think!!
