// michael //
-
"you were red and you liked me because I was blue and you touched me and suddenly it was a lilac sky and you decided purple just wasn't for you."
-
"c'mon babe," the voice says, waking me from my sleep. "today's a big day."
I open my eyes, them feeling like weights.
"what time is it?" I ask her as I stretch my arms.
"it's 5 am." mom tells me, "your flight's at 8."
"why couldn't we get a later flight?" I whine, flipping over face first into the pillow.
"you didn't ask for a early flight." she pats me on the back. "come on sunshine."
" I don't want to get up." I groan, tossing and turning in the covers.
"okay, well I guess you don't get to see amethyst." she shrugs.
"okay fine." I mentally roll my eyes before rolling out of bed.
when I get to the kitchen table, my breakfast already awaits me.
"wow mom you went all out." I say, staring at the bowl of cereal in front of me. "I usually have to do this myself."
"well I thought that since this was your last morning here, I'd make it a good one."a small smile appears on the corners of her mouth.
"thanks mum." I tell her as I run a hand through my newly dyed blonde hair.
you know that when you eat your last bowl of cereal at home, it's the best one. I'm finished with it in a matter of minutes before I begin getting dressed.
I know that I'm going to run out of long sleeve shirts to cover up all of my scars, so I piled bracelet upon bracelet until they're unseen. it's much easier than worrying about your sleeves of your shirt coming up every time you move. the bad thing is, they touch the scars and it does still hurt a bit but I'll get used to it eventually.
"you ready to go?" mom appears in my doorway while I'm adjusting the bracelets onto my wrists. "what are these?"
"it's um- nothing." I say nervously, hoping she didn't see them.
before I can flinch away, she grabs my wrist, sending a shooting pain through it. the wince I make makes it more obvious of the marks. she slowly removes the bracelets to try not to hurt me any more. when she takes the last one off, she gasps slightly at the sight.
"why?" is all she says before a tear slips down her cheek.
"I-I'm sorry." I say before my voice cracks.
"why did you do this to yourself?" she asks me, her eyes staying on my face, but I can't dare to look her back.
"I-I just broke." I begin. "I am so lost without her mum. I know it's stupid to love a girl this fucking much, but I do. even though we bickered most of the time, I knew that I loved her and I knew she loved me and that's all I really needed in this world. I didn't need friends, I didn't need anything except her. when she left, I just lost it all. she left because of me, and I hated myself. she would tell me all the time how I'm the only thing keeping her here and how as long as she has me, she's staying. and when she left, I realized that she's the only thing keeping me here too."
"hey look at me," mum says after a few moments of silence. "don't you ever think you're going through any of this alone, okay? because I'm here and whether you're halfway across the world or just down the hall, you can always talk to me about anything."
before I can reply, my arms engulf her in a tight hug. "thank you for everything."
"anything for you, love." she says, breathing in before taking a step back. "lets get going."
I replace the bracelets back onto my wrists before I grab the small duffel bag along with my heavy suitcase behind me
the drive to the airport was spent in silence other than the quiet music I can't make out playing on the radio. we don't talk much, all we do is enjoy each other's presence while it lasts.
when she adjusts the car into park, I knew this was going to be a really hard goodbye.
she pulls the keys out of the car and sighs heavily.
"let's go then." she says with sadness in her voice, but trying her best to be happy for me. I nod my head in response, I'm not known very well for comforting. I don't know why, I'm just not very good at it.
after about an hour of security checks and taking shoes off and putting ten back on, here we stand outside the gate at the early hours in the morning.
"the flight for New York City is now boarding." the worker at the front announces.
"well, I guess this is goodbye, Mike." mom says with her eyes gleaming from tears.
I don't reply just yet. my arms hug her tightly. "this isn't a goodbye, mum. I'm coming back."
"I know, but you'll be gone-" tears caress her cheeks. "for I don't know how long and I won't be able to see your face every day."
"don't you worry about me. you have a life to live and you don't need to be spending your time worrying about me all of the time. I promise you I'll call you as much as I can." I tell her sincerely.
"I love you mike." she says as we part from our long hug.
"I love you too mum." I smile weakly. she kisses both of my cheeks before I walk away. taking one glance back, I wave to her with another weak smile.
"there's no turning back." I say to myself, brushing off all of the negative things.
with one step on the plane, I feel something I haven't felt in so long for myself.
hope.
"everyone please turn off all electronics at this time, and we'll be ready for take off." the pilot says through the intercom from the ceiling.
"we will be arriving in New York City around 8am tomorrow morning if all goes well, thank you for flying with us." the flight attendant takes over the pilot's job trough the intercom.
I'm going to see her again.
I'm going to find her.
I'm going to get her back.
no matter what it takes.
•••••••
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thank you so much for reading!
FOR ALL OF YOU WHO LIKE HALSEY GUESS WHAT SONG THE QUOTE IS FROM AT THE BEGINNING BYE
