The Boxes We Are Put In

Chapter 4

A silver flash and blood. I jumped up. It took me a few seconds to realise that I had just had a nightmare. It was all still okay. I was safe. No one was stabbing me.

I had gone to sleep, wishing I had just gone to Goa. The photos Sharan sent me were making me feel so jealous. It was not like something happened to me physically. I was just so fine. It was so unfair that they all could go to Goa and I had to come back home. I could have quickly taken a bus to Goa the day after instead of coming home. I would have missed just one day in Goa, and enjoyed the rest of the days with the boys.

I thought I was okay. But I guess the one that goon actually wanted to stab was me. And it is a fact that I almost died. It was not a small thing, and it did leave this deep-seated fear that comes up every time I try to sleep after that incident. It is crazy.

I got up from my bed. It was almost 11 am. I had slept in. After freshening up, I walked out of my room.

Amma was sitting in the diwan bed reading a magazine humming a tune and drinking black tea. I went and lie down on her lap and picked up the Rubik's Cube on the table, and started flipping it.

Amma's fingers began to move through my hair naturally. It soothed me.

"What happened, Appu?" Amma asked me.

"Nothing."

But I know, she understands me in magical ways. She looked into my face. And then she went back to read her magazine. Her hand still kept moving through my hair. I smiled to myself.

Later, I ate lunch with her. Amma has made Naimeen Fry, and Sambaar and Valli Payar mezhukkuvaratti. All my favourites. I got to eat four pieces of Fish fry as well. I was getting better.

After that, I went back to the room, browsed through the internet a bit and saw Facebook posts of my friends. I was in quite a few group photos and stuff. But I paused at a group photo from Mahé. Arya was in it. I was in it too. She was at the left corner of the picture, and I was at the right. And now it feels bizarre that a week back, I had no idea who this girl was. I was laughing in the picture with no idea that she was actually in the picture with me.

She was not laughing in the photo. She was smiling. In a very Arya way. Not too much. Just a little. She was wearing jeans and a shirt and holding a peach colour jacket in her hand. Mahé was quite cold that morning when we arrived.

Actually, there was this inherent maturity to Arya - an intelligence that will be a little alien to all the hooligans around us. She was mysterious and intriguing. Like moonlight...

I ended up visiting Arya's Facebook page. She and I were not friends on Facebook. I hesitated to send a friendship request. But it felt so soon. I didn't want her to think that I was thinking about her, nor come off as a creep. I will wait a few days before sending a friendship request.

Amma suddenly came into my room. I jumped up and quickly shut my laptop. Amma looked at the laptop computer and then at me. "Well, I already saw it, so no use in hiding." She said, "Do you have any laundry to wash?"

"What did you see?" I asked, nervous.

"I am glad it's a real girl finally." She said, with this knowing teasing look. Great!! Now her friends will know about this. I sighed and looked away, avoiding her eyes.

"Well, I really like her," Amma said, taking my clothes. "Just saying in case you are going to, you know...like, proceed with it?"

"Proceed with what?" I was feeling embarrassed. "It is nothing."