The Boxes We Are Put In

Chapter 6

The reasons why I gave Nikhil Chandran my phone number :

1. He was straightforward.

2. It's 7 pm now, and there are no messages from him yet. I would have regretted my decision if he had filled up my phone with 60 sleazy messages by now.

3. I have never personally seen him disrespecting any female in any way.

4. I have seen him around for 4 years. (Just did not know his name. He was always just Adwaith's friend).

5. I have met his parents. We can judge one's character by their upbringing.

6. He is from a somewhat wealthy family. (His Facebook profile has a picture of his large house. His parents came in an Audi when they came to pick him up)

7. Nikhil has a 7.8 GPA and got second prize in the intercollege tech fest's programming competition. (I had seen him getting the prize).

8. Nikhil is not 3 years younger than me. Nor is he too old. He is the right age.

9. He comes from a Hindu family which happens to be the same religion as my parents. (I happen to be an atheist).

10. He is cute. Looks do not matter much, but it's always an added benefit if they are good-looking as well.

11. He is indebted to me for his life. (Vey important)

12. I feel like I can trust him. At least a bit for now. (But have to keep watching for a few more days to say for sure)

Yes, points 6 - 9 are crucial. Very very much so.

My eyes stayed on one particular photo from his Facebook page. It was an Onam day photo. Nikhil, his mom and his dad sat in front of an 'attapookkalam' , the flower arrangement, in front of their two stories house. The Audi was parked in the car garage behind them. His mom was wearing a Kerala saree and had a chandana kuri (sandalwood paste worn on the forehead). Nikhil was in a sandalwood-orange kurta and mundu. And he was smiling widely, with his teeth showing. His eyes narrow a bit when he is smiling. His parents were smiling too. The photo looked perfect. Like in that universe, nothing can be unhappy. And I can see that the 3 loved each other.

That universe seemed like an intangible dream for me.

But his reality is my ultimate life goal. Which still felt like an impossible target to reach. And that is funny because the target was just too simple – happiness.

And giving him my number felt like I got a hold of the end of a rope to climb up to that happy universe. Just the end bit of the rope. And right now, in my reality, that rope seemed like the only practical and conceptually feasible trail towards freedom and happiness.

However, I still have to check if the rope is weak or covered in thorns or too slippery before I grab it strong enough. Time will tell ...

Adi opened the door to his house himself. I hesitated at the door for a bit. I was not yet prepared to face them. "I suspected you would not come," Adi said.

"I...eh..."

"Are you going to keep standing outside?"

No. I walked in. Adwaith's house is cosy. It's a small two-storied house, but the architecture is beautiful. "Where are the guys?" I asked Adi as I could not see Sharan and Asif.