The Boxes We Are Put In

Chapter 34

"Mr and Mrs Nikhil Chandran, Your honeymoon suite is this way. Our staff will guide you to your room," The receptionist at the hotel we are staying in said with a sweet smile. We walked following the bell boy.

"Since when am I 'Mrs Nikhil Chandran'? As if I don't have a name." I said annoyed. "same at the airport." It was like my name sort of vanished. Or did not matter anymore.

Nik turned to me. "Let it go. It's just a formality."

"Will you like it if somebody calls you Mr Arya Devan all the time?" I asked. Nik chuckled. He was in a good mood. "I like your name, but I don't want your father's name anywhere near me." He said walking backwards facing me. I smiled. "No offence, okay," he added.

"You will fall down," I said with a smile, reminded of old times. In college, he used to do this all the time.

We were led into the room. It was a nice big room. The bed was huge and had decorations on it. As soon as the bellboy left Nick jumped onto the bed. "Look how soft and bouncy this is...." He yelled.

"You are still a kid." I moved to the window. I could see the ocean from there. Blue beautiful ocean. And there was not much crowd at the beach either. Phuket was beautiful.

"Arya..." Nik called.

"Hm...." My eyes were still on the ocean.

"After we ate at the airport, did you eat your medicine?" He asked. He checks on me like this a lot lately. I felt annoyed.

"Yes," I said.

"Okay...." He said. "How do you feel?" He asked hesitantly.

"A bit sleepy. But okay...." I turned around. Our eyes met. I wanted to share the experience of seeing the ocean with him. So I held out my hand. He got up slid his hand into mine and came and hugged me from behind, settling his head on my shoulder. I smiled. "Ocean looks beautiful," I said.

"Yeah... Yeah, It does." Nik also sounded peaceful.

"Do you remember the first time we went to see the ocean together....?" I asked. "I mean the time you took me to the beach. At art fest..."

"Yeah." He smiled. "Good old times, huh?"

"I think it was then that I started to fall for you."

He left me to look me in the eye. "Really?"

I nodded. He seemed extremely happy. "Can we go see the beach now?" I asked.

We splashed water at each other and laughed.... He pulled me to him and I was laughing a lot. But then I saw his smile vanishing. There was dread in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, wading my hair away which was getting in my eyes because of the wind.

"What? Nothing." Nik said.

But I knew. I was laughing.

"Can't I even be happy?" I asked, annoyed.

"No. No...." He said. "I mean, I am happy that you are happy."

"Nik, can you stop making a big deal out of this?" I asked. He looked away and grabbed my hand and his thumb moved over the scars on my wrist. He does that a lot lately. "I am just..." he mumbled, "I... I want you to be happy. All the time." He looked me in the eye.

"Well, that cannot happen apparently. So...." My voice cracked. I wanted to say 'deal with it', but I could not. Nik had no reason to deal with this mess other than the fact that he loves me. He is in this mess because I choose him. He can very well be with someone else. Someone 'normal'.