The Boxes We Are Put In

Chapter 5

Shruthi was talking to her boyfriend Darshan on the phone. She was talking loudly purposefully so that I can hear. She sat on the bench behind me, so she did not have to make much of an effort. But she did it anyway. It was so evident.

After hanging up, Shruthi elaborately began to describe to Vidya, how she and Darshan are planning to meet secretly at a friend's house that weekend. Vidya started teasing her about what she and Darshan may be doing. And Shruthi giggled. She even was checking out my reaction.

I felt sick.

When she did not get any reaction, she turned to me and said, "Arya..." I looked at her. "Darshu said 'hi' to you." I nodded. She was disappointed again on getting no reaction from me.

She turned to Vidya and asked about her guy, and they began to discuss each other's boyfriends. It's like they want to show off the fact that they have boyfriends. Like she wants to make me feel bad about me having no boyfriend. I had no problem whatsoever about being single. But I know that Shruthi is evil enough to try to make me feel bad about something that I should not bother about, and never did. And she did kind of succeed in it today. Usually, she does not.

But...

Achan ticked his tongue while eating breakfast today. The chutney was a tiny bit salty. I saw Amma throw it out to the kitchen sink even if a lot of it was left.

I saw a cut on Amma's finger while she threw away the coconut chutney. She has again cut herself scraping the coconut. I could see Achan polishing his car spotless and complaining about a scratch on it. And then he yelled at amma for taking 20 minutes to search for the car garage's number.

After all of this, I saw Amma crying inside Arjun's room again.

The bell rang. That indicated the end of the lunch break. My mobile beeped — another Messenger message from Siddarth. 'Why won't you talk to me? Are you angry, Arya?' The feeling of being sick filled me up.

I could barely hold my pen to take notes. My hand was hurting

Shruthi laughed behind me, "Darshu is so much sometimes. He says he cannot stand not seeing me. He always brings me gifts when we meet. I keep telling him not to. He is a student too. He should save money, but he says he wants to because he loves me so much. That I helped him forget things. And then," She lowered her tone, "We kiss and stuff. He gets so nervous. It's so cute. I don't know what he plans to do when we meet at his friends' place. But he wanted to meet. Maybe he can't wait till marriage." She giggles.

I let the pen down as my mind went blank.

I packed my bag and got up to go out. Rekha Miss met me at the door. It was her class the next hour. But she did not say anything to me as maybe, I looked too pale and sick. I walked out.

What I needed was escape... Something... someone.

I want to hide into some fluffy cotton ball... Some relief. Some shoulder to set my heavy head on. To be able to forget...

Though I know that I will never be able to forget. Arjun will always follow me throughout my life. He was not something to just forget.

But at least, a distraction... I needed that badly.

"Hello, Amma..."

"Hm, mone... Why did you call at this time?" Amma's voice was what I needed. "Don't you have class?" (Mone - son/dear)