The Boxes We Are Put In

Chapter 22

Nikhil was back from our hometown, and he demanded to meet me for dinner dates and stuff. I kept him away for a few days. I was not ready to meet him. If he sees me, he will detect the change in my eyes. The lack of spark in them. There was a part of me who just wanted to bury myself in Nik and forget everything. But the other part wanted to punish myself. Told me not to escape from this, feel this.... Stay with this.

So in the first time in two years, I again cut myself. Under my clothes, so as he won't notice when he sees me.

I cut deeper this time. To let it hurt more, and take longer to heal....

Feel it, my heart told me. The pain....

But the next Friday, he tracked me down. He called me at 6 in the evening and told me that he will be waiting in the lobby until I came down. I realized I could not avoid him forever.

When I reached downstairs, he ran to me. "Why are you avoiding me?" He asked me in a demanding voice.

"I....met Darshan," I mumbled. His eyes flickered. "Accidently saw him at the club."

"So?" he asked.

"Just... made me think of Arjun." He nodded. Trying to understand that. "So I am a bit depressed mood," I told him.

"Then that makes it more of a reason to be with me," he said, "to make you feel better. So... let's do something to make you feel better." He said, "Drive? How about that pasta place you loved?"

"No... It's okay," I said. "I will just go home."

He tried to catch up and caught my hand. "I will drop you," He said. I nodded.

I walked up with her through the emergency stairs and paused at our usual spot. I was worried about Arya. I caught her hand a pulled her closer to a hug. "Stay like this for a while," I said and kissed her forehead.

I closed my eyes. Forget....

But no, remember.

Arya pulled free from me. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. This was serious. She was really sad. "What happened with Darshan?"

"Nothing..." Not even looking at me. "I am tired. I will go up...."

"Arya..."

She looked lost, "Sorry... I feel feverish and stuff. I will see you later?"

I was left helpless. Unable to do anything for her. But she did feel a bit feverish though. She had a mild temperature. "Hm... Take rest then," I said.

She nodded and walked up.

I felt bad and guilty to have pushed away Nikhil. He just meant good. I went to my room and tried to sleep. But then I noticed my mobile blinking for a while. I checked it.

Darshan: 'Hi, this is Darshan. Sorry I had to get your number from a common friend. Hope you don't mind. I wanted to talk to you again... About what you said. Can you give me a call?'

I gave him a call. He answered it immediately. "Arya.."

"Yeah," I said.

"Can we meet? I want to talk to you?"

"Yeah. Okay..."

"I will come to where you are."