Halley's Comet

Thirteen

September 13
Amsterdam

"I miss you" I tell Iris as I take a seat on the comfortable hotel bed. She laughs over the phone before telling me the same thing. It's clearly almost two in the morning here which means its only the afternoon where Iris is.

"I'm sad I couldn't come. I miss you and plus I wanted to see Billie perform"

I nod and laugh. "You just want to gush over Billie the whole time" I tease making her blush and flip me off.

"That too." She agrees and shrugs her shoulders. "I can't help it if Billie is one of the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life. You just don't understand how much she has saved my life. I know she is just a girl making music but it's much more than that. Her music has brought me through more tough times than I can count. I will forever adore her for that and so much more." She sighs dreamily making me almost roll my eyes. I shake my head and sigh as well.

Wow, I didn't know that.

"Aw Iris you're so sweet" A sudden voice comes from behind me making me look and see Billie entering the room with a small yawn and smile on her face.

"Billie!" Iris yells through the phone probably suddenly embarrassed that Billie caught her love talking about her. She looks at her phone screen with blushed cheeks and a flushed face before quickly hanging up the phone.

Damn.

"Look what you did" I say to Billie playfully as I turn around to face her. She is seated on her bed and was grabbing her phone out her back pocket. "You made her feel embarrassed."She goes to say something but the sound of my phone dinging with a message stops her.

It's from Iris.

>>why would you let me say that shit in front of Billie!

"I didn't know she literally just came in" I reply to her and set my phone down to turn my attention to the black haired beauty a few feet away from me.

"How was it?" I ask her in reference to her performance. She huffs loudly and lays back on the bed.

"Completely and utterly exhausting."

I was suppose to go with everyone and watch Billie perform but I wasn't feeling too well earlier. I'm experiencing very bad cramps right now and honestly just not in the mood to deal with fans and loud noises or honestly just noise in general.

Billie understood and didn't push me to go which I'm thankful for because I just wanted to lay up in my bed and have a calm night. It wasn't bad because I literally been watching tv and laying around in bed until Iris called me.

"I saw some tweets about me being making an appearance tonight" I smile as I glance down at my phone.

Billie grinned and nodded her head. "Yeah, they can't get enough of you Ms.Serefina." She teases making me flip her phone for the use of my middle name. "They love you" she adds and rans a tired hand down her face.

"Your fans are pretty cool besides the fact that they are very nosy."

She laughs but nods her head in agreement. "They are definitely nosy. I can agree with you on that. They are nosy and sometimes just too much" She replies before shrugging her shoulders. "But they are loyal at heart at least the true fans are and I love every single one of them"

I grin and shake my head. "From what I can see, you're right. They are very loyal and seem to truly love you and your music"

She pulls her pants down her legs and throws them to the side before getting under the covers of her bed. Tying her hair into a weird looking bun, she huffs loudly and pats her pillow.

"I just feel like sometimes I'm not enough for them" Pulling the white sheets and comforter up to below her chin, she gets comfortable before continuing on what she was saying.

"I be seeing sometimes how some of them truly hate this new version of myself. They want me to go back to the old Billie who was getting emotionally abused by her boyfriend and wearing baggy clothes because I wasn't fucking with my body."

I shake my head no.

"Billie—"

She cuts me off. "I'm finally happy with who I am and how I feel about myself and they don't even care. I see comments about how I look ugly as fuck and about how I shouldn't even be famous because I'm apparently a fucking ugly depressed bit—"

"You better not finish that sentence" I interrupt and she looks at me. "Those people who want to spread hate about you aren't even worth you even giving a thought about. They aren't your fans Billie. Real fans don't do that."

Her lip quivers but she never lets the tears fall, only looks away from me. "It's hard" She admits, more to herself than, to me.

"That's what your family and friends are for Billie, to help you carry the weight. They are here to support and love you Eilish."

She nods before sighing lightly. "Sometimes I just want to be strong for them. My mom is always busy making sure I can still have shows or even have fans. My brother is busy writing and producing songs with me. My dad is just around for moral support and love while he helps my mom. I don't want to burden them with all my bullshit"

I shake my head no.

"A family is also here to love you through the bullshit Billie. You honestly feeling depressed and upset by all this shit is the perfect reason to why you need to express yourself to your love ones" I reply gently and rub my thumb across her knuckles lightly.

"I care about you and only want to make sure that you know I'm here for you. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything, I'm only merely suggesting something." I quickly add, not wanting her to feel like she is forced to talk to them.

"I do think you should possibly think into getting an therapist"

She looks at me quickly, baffled. "Why the fuck would I do that"

I move a strand of her hair out of her face gently before cupping her face in my hands. "Talking to someone can do more help than you think. I'm not saying this like I'm going to force you because I'm not but I do think it might help even if you just try it out."

She stares into my eyes with those ocean blue eyes before licking her lips slowly then biting them once I glance down at them. I take in a huge breath before letting her go.

"Do you really think therapy could help?" She asks only her voice is a hundred times huskier and deeper.

Whew chile

"I think it can't help to try" I reply making her nod her head slowly.

It grew quiet for a moment and all we did was stare into each other's eyes. Not that I'm complaining..

"I think I should get some sleep" I then say after a while. Not that I don't want to continue whatever this is nor continue it but I don't know where Billie's head is at and until then, I'm not doing jack shit.