"Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship. It's just a bonus."
Renna has been told many times that sex is an important part of life and vital in a relationship, but as a sex-repulsed asexual, she has no desire for sexual intimacy- -ever...
Renna tapped her foot while watching the numbers above the elevator drop from the top floor to the bottom.
4. 3. 2. G.
The doors slid open and she stepped in, pressing the 2 button. Her stomach lurched as the elevator soared upwards but she enjoyed the feeling.
At the door, Levi called her in after two knocks. She entered to find herself in the middle of an argument between the two roommates.
"I pay rent!" Jensen screamed from somewhere in the apartment. Renna assumed him to be in his room.
Levi stood at the kitchen counter to the right of the front door. "So do I. What's your point?" He turned to Renna as she entered. He dropped the sour look and replaced it with a warm smile to greet her.
She walked into his outstretched arms, squeezing him tight and resting her head on his chest. He pulled her in tight.
Jensen walked around the corner from the hallway and locked eyes with Renna in a second, glaring. "This is my place as much as yours," he said, glancing back at Levi. "You can't just kick me out like this."
"It's just for an hour or two," Levi said, keeping his arm around Renna, pulling her in close. "Get over it and get out."
Renna burned under Jensen's glare as he walked out. She felt bad. Levi could have been nicer.
He slammed the door behind him. Renna jumped a little and Levi chuckled at her.
"Why did you make him leave?" Renna asked, a little uncertain and nervous.
He moved to stand in front of her. Pressed in. Held her waist. Tickled her sides with his fingers. Uneasiness stirred up in the pit of her stomach. His touch started to feel like the threat of a razor sharp blade being dragged over her skin, eager to draw blood. "I wanted some alone time with you," he said, moving his hands over her body.
Nausea creeped up her throat. She wanted his hands off her as soon as the words left his mouth, but she was scared.
He said once. We would only have to do something once. After that we could be done. What is he doing?
She recalled the multiple times she told Levi about her feelings towards intimacy. Not all asexual people hate sex or don't want to be intimate with their partners, but that's how Renna feels.
Sex has never interested her. The idea of having sex with anyone made her skin crawl. She made it clear to Levi that being in a relationship with her meant they would never be intimate, and Levi let her know he was okay with that.
Nothing can reverse the way she feels. No one can change who she is. That includes Levi.
Levi leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She fell into it; comfortable and enjoyable. He moved the kisses down to her jaw and down her neck; pushing the limits.
His fingers found the end of her shirt and he tugged it upwards. Grabbing his wrists, she pushed his hands down, but he fought back and lifted it to reveal her stomach.
Renna pushed away from him. He tried to follow her but his lips left her neck and he had to pull back. Still holding onto her shirt, he gawked at her with a confused look.
"I don't want to," she said, quietly, still holding his wrists.
A giant grin spread over his face. "Don't worry," he said, moving in again. "I'll teach you." He tugged the shirt up.
Renna fought, but Levi was stronger. She tried to dodge his incoming lips. They made contact on her shoulder.
"No." She struggled to keep him off. Her heart pounded.
"It'll be fun." He shifted, pinning her against the kitchen counter. Yanking the shirt up, his hand found one of her breasts, cupping it over the bra. His mouth sucked on her neck.
She dug the heels of her palms into him, trying to shove him off, but the more she resisted, the more he fought back.
"Levi," she whimpered. "Stop. Not again. I don't—"
He pushed his pelvis hard against hers so the edge of the counter cut into her lower back. One hand held her hip, the other tugged at her bra.
She resorted to using her nails to get him off. Dug them into his skin. Scrapped them down his arms. Ripping. Scratching.
He moaned against her neck.
"Levi. Please stop."
"Enjoy it," he said, without taking his mouth off her.
She pulled her head back, but that gave him more of an opening, and when she lifted her leg up to protect herself, he grabbed a hold of it at her knee and used it to pull himself closer.
"I don't like it." She shoved at his chest with both hands.
He stood strong, like a stone wall. "Let me change your mind."
No. Nothing can change my mind, she thought. I don't want this. I don't want any of it.
His hand brushed up her thigh, like a snake hunting it's prey. Slow. Steady. She let her leg drop and he lost his place but he continued on from the closest point of contact.
"Stop," Renna repeatedly said. "Stop. Stop. Levi stop." But he didn't listen.
His fingers found the edge of her denim shorts and made a beeline to the button above the zipper. Shoving his hand away made it more difficult but eventually she felt the button come undone, and the zipper pulled down.
"Levi. I don't want this. Stop now. Please."
Ignoring her, his hand slid into her pants and found the edge of her underwear.
Her beating heart sounded as though it were humming. Or was that just the blood in her ears. She began to hyperventilate. Panic swirled into a tornado inside her stomach. She was going to be sick.
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