Chapter Ten - Struggling

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"Lily, Lily wake up." my eye snapped open as I saw Boggs looming over me and my sleeping sister. "Come with me" I got up not waking Posy and followed him to command. Coin was leaning on a desk tired by the look in her eyes.

"We took their best shot, didn't we?"

"Yeah." I agreed

"Your mother, brothers and sister okay?" she asked and I nodded

"Yeah they're fine."

"I need you to do something for us. I need you to tell Panem that we survived an attack by the Capitol with no casualties. And we remain full operational."

"Okay." I agreed

"You should know something. We had eight extra minutes of civilian evacuation because of Peeta's warning. I won't forget that."

"Thank you." Maybe I would finally get my Peeta back after all.

------

The bunker doors opened for everyone and we started to go up. Most went back to their duties others had clean up and checking just how much damage had been caused by the bombings.

"So Lily. It's 13 is alive and well and so am I." I blanked Effie concentrating on going up

"Lily. Lily" she sighed "Never one to waist it in rehearsal, I know." When we got to the top I saw the destruction.

"Oh my god." I breathed climbing out but the horror of it hit me getting closer. The entrance was apart of a crater and smack bang in the middle were hundreds and hundreds of white roses. White roses that Snow himself wore. No one would understand my torment of seeing these because to be the everlasting horrible smell and symbol from him meant the promise of retaliation and revenge...tenfold.

"Why would they drop these?" Gale asked and I turned back to look at him.

"For Me." my voice croaked

"Ready Lily. We're gonna do this just like district 8." Cressida said and I looked away feeling the bile rise up in my throat.

"Tell me about the roses....Tell them 13 is alive and well." His revenge , he he was

"He's going to kill Peeta." I breathed

"Let's try again. Can you speak up? We don't have a mic on you. 13 is alive and well. And so am I." She encouraged by I couldn't I just couldn't.

"He's gonna kill Peeta. I..I can't" I started to physical shake in horror and feel physically sick.

"Lily?"

"You can do this. " Gale told me and I shook my head

"13 is a live and well and so am I" I grabbed my head wanting her to shut up.

"Shut up, Shut up SHUT UP!" I yell gripping my hair as I started panicking.

"Lily, Lils calm down." Kat came over to me and took my hands out of my hair

"He's just gonna keep...he's never gonna stop. Never, never, never. I'm making it worse. I'm making it worse." I panted I felt arms wrap around me

"As long as I'm the Mockingjay."

"I think you should cut the cameras" I heard Effie.

"Lily, Lils. shhh" Haymitch rubbed my back

"No he warned me. He warned me about this." I pulled away looking at them

"He's punishing me because I'm the mockingjay. He's punishing Peeta to punish me. No." I walked away from them

"Lily." Cressida called

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