The Light of Midnight (BxB)

Chapter 24

"So, what happened last night isn't still clear to you?" 

"Well, that's how you got me, Pierre." Then he chuckled. "Just kidding. Just this time, please?" 

"Tanga pa ako no'n, River. What do you expect from an eighteen year old?" 

"Ano nga ba, Pierre?" Aniya at iniwas ang tingin sa 'kin at yumuko. Kinigat niya ang kaniyang labi at nanatiling nasa ganoong posisyon. 

"You tell me. Ako ba ang nang-iwan?" 

"Later. Kailangan ko lang humanap ng lakas ng loob." At doon niya muling ibinalik ang tingin sa'kin. 

"Now's your only chance, River." Nanatili lang itong tahimik, walang kahit anong salita ang nanggaling dito na parang pinag-iisipin niyang mabuti kung dapat niya bang sabihin. 

Mukhang wala rin naman akong mapapala kaya minabuti ko nalang na tumalikod sa kaniya dahil hindi naman ako sigurado kung mayroon ba talaga siyang dahilan o sadyang gago lang siya. 

"Our life is at risk, Pierre." He softly said. Napahinto ako mula sa paglabas ng banyo ng manggaling sa kaniya iyon.

Lahat ng emosyon ay muli kong naramdaman malaman lang kung ano ang nangyari sa kaniya dahil sa loob ng labindalawang taon ay nagkaroon na ng linaw ang lahat. As much as I want to stay and ask him everything that's going on in my mind, I chose not to. I know River is a lot, but he's not a liar. He speaks what in his mind. And I know for a fact that this reason is enough for me to allow him to sleep in my apartment. 

"I'll wait for you later, River." Then I went our of the comfort room. 

When I got out, I saw that there's no more people left except Thamarra and the rest of the people who will be with River on his last day here in Bataan. They are looking at me with all smiles, but not Thamarra. She's just waiting on my table just looking at me. I went into her without minding everyone and I asked her to get out of the building. 

"Let's go, Tham. Mamimili pa tayo ng regalo." Hindi ko sila tinignan lahat at kaagad ng lumabas ng opisina hawak ang balikat ni Thamarra, but even before we went out of the office, we bumped into River. Our eyes met, but I cut it in an instant before he saw in my eyes what I am feeling right now. 

Confused for a reason I don't fucking know why. 


"Shot pa, Pierre!" Isabella shouted. Narito na kami ngayon sa bar na pinagdausan ng kaarawan ng ate ni Thamarra. Nasa isang malaking table kami and we are almost 15 in it. Some are Isabella's friends and some are her cousins. 

Right next to our table is the group of River. I am not looking at them, I just saw them sitting right next to the reserved seat they are in now. 

"Stop it, Ate! Magmamaneho pa siya mamaya." Pagtutol ni Thamarra kay Isabella. 

"Oh, come on! We came here to celebrate right?" 

"Let me have this, Tham, please?" I ask the girl beside me. I put my forehead on her shoulder so she can not decline my request anymore. 

"Ngayon lang, Pierre." 

The night went on and on like it was the first time I became drunk like this. Nakadagdag pa sa saya na nararamdaman ko ang sikat na banda na tutugtog na ngayon sa entablado. 

"Hi everyone. I am Zydeco, the vocalist of this band and I have Violet, Lyric, and Ryo with me. And we are the Vitamin J!" 

Nagsimula nang tumugtog ang sikat na sa bar at sa sandaling panahon na 'yon nakalimutan ko ang mga bagay na nagpapalala sa'kin muli ng nakaraan. 


"He already left, Pierre. I am really sorry." Kaiah said. Nandito ako ngayon sa Manila at sinusubukan na hagilapin si River. He's been gone for exactly a month now and since then I am still waiting. 

"Where did he go?" I asked her. 

"I don't know, Pierre. I asked Daddy, pero wala rin siyang idea kung nasaan na sila River. Hindi rin ito nagpaalam sa'min noong araw na nandoon kami sa kanila. Ang tanging naalala ko nalang ay hinahanap siya ni Tito at may emergency daw." 

Konti-konti na akong nawawalan ng pag-asa na muli pa kaming magkita ni River lalo pa't sa kahit ang kaibigan niya ay hindi alam kung nasaan siya. "Salamat, Kaiah. Please inform me when he contacted you, please." 

"I will, Pierre." 

I wave her goodbye and went to his house again for I don't know how many times since the last time he left me. Kahit nahihirapan na akong pagkasiyahin ang lahat ay ginugusto ko pa rin na ako na makita siya. 

Nakasandal ako sa kotse habang nakatingin sa bahay nilang walang buhay gaya noong mga araw na pinupuntahan ko ito. Ang hirap isipin na iniwan niya na naman muli ako nang walang ibinibigay na eksplanasyon. 

Pero kahit gano'n alam ko sa sarili ko na tatanggapin muli kita sa susunod nating pagkikita. 

For now, I will do everything I can to ease all the pain and let myself rest because I can't bare all the lost that I had in just a short time. I just hope that you are here with me River because I can't carry all the pain by myself. I need you... I need my home.

Please, River. 


I was taken aback from the memory that came crashing through me. Natauhan nalang ako nang tinatapik na ako ni Thamarra habang ako ay nakasandal sa upuan ng bar. Hindi ako natutulog, nakatingin lang ako sa kung saan pero alam ko sa sarili ko na lasing na talaga ako. 

"I told you, Pierre." 

"I'm sorry, Tham." 

"Ewan ko sa'yo! Sinasabihan na kita hindi ka pa rin marunong makinig!" 

"Don't be like that, please. Kailangan ko lang ito ngayon." 

"Is it because of River?" 

"No..." I lied.

"Then why? You are not like this, Pierre! Ngayon lang na nandito si River. Sabihin mo na sa'kin ang lahat agad bago pa tayo umabot sa pagrerelasyon." Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya at mas pinagtuunan nalang ng pansin ang bandang tumutugtog sa harapan ko. 

Hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin sa kaniya dahil kahit ako ay hindi sigurado sa nararamdaman ko. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba ito dahil ang tanging alam ko lang ay nasasaktan ako dahil sa muli ko siyang nakita pagkatapos ng ilang taon. 

"You're right, Thamarra. I am like this because of River." I said straight into her eyes. She cursed at me and looked on the other way. The bar is loud so, I really don't bother if the the people here will hear us. "I will stop courting you, I'm sorry." 

"You're really unfair, Pierre. Handa na ako, Pierre. Handang-handa na ako para sa'yo. Sinusubukan lang kita kasi ayaw ko nang maulit 'yung mga nangyari sa 'kin dati, kung papaano ako iniwan. But I guess you're just the same as them." She stood up and head out of the bar. 

I followed her and called her name even if it is impossible for to hear because of the loud noise inside the bar. I stopped chasing her when someone grabbed in the middle of everything. 

"Pierre." River said. I can see straight into his eyes how he wants to talk to me right now, pero hindi ikaw ang pipiliin ko.

Hinatak ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya ang braso ko nang hindi ko pinuputol ang mga tingin ko sa kaniya. 

"Not now, River." Then I left him.