Nagising ako nang madaling araw at nakitang nasa parehas pa rin kami na posisyon na dalawa, kaibahan lang ay nakalukot ang mga bunti niya dahil sa nilalamig ang buo niyang katawan. Agad kong ginising ito para umayos kami ng puwesto at dahil na rin sa masakit na ang katawan ko gawa ng ngalay sa pagtulog nang nakaupo.
"Go to bed, River. You'll be much comfortable there."
"Papaano ka?"
"I'm fine here." Nakatingin lang sa'kin ito at hindi sumasagot. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin pero nagdadalawang-isip siya kung itutuloy niya ba ito. "Susunod ako. Ikukuha lang kita ng t-shirt." I said to assure him.
"Okay, Pierre."
The sun is still not here, but I can't sleep knowing how life has been cruel to River. I've been through a lot, but not to the extent where everyone will robbed off my peace knowing that I can't live. I can't imagine how I can deal with this, iyong pagkamatay pa lamang ni Daddy ay parang ikakamatay ko na rin, paano pa 'yung ganitong nararadmaman ni River? Especially now that he's sick.
My eyes started to become teary knowing that he did not enjoyed the life he has because of other's choice. He really missed a lot and it's really sad.
"I can't imagine myself saying goodbye to you later, Pierre." Saad nito nang makita niyang bukas pa ang mga mata ko at nakatingin lamang sa kung saan.
"You never said good bye every time you leave me, River. Kung kailan mo gagawin ang tama saka ka nagdadalawang-isip."
"I know that, it's just this time it's permanent. Hindi ko naman alam kung mabubuhay pa ako kahit sinusubukan kong lumaban." Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. "Pipilitin ko nalang na matulog. Good night, Pierre."
Hindi na ako tumugon pa sa kaniya at pinilit na lamang din ang sarili na makatulog.
I woke up without him by my side, but I did not dare standing up and look for him. I just let myself stare at nothing thinking nothing and doing nothing because I know for sure that he already left. It's been a rough night talking to him and I still can't believe how I was able to survived it knowing all the reasons behind everything.
I took more time to the bed until my stomach forced me to stood up. I know that he's not here anymore, but something inside me is still hoping that he's still around, drinking some coffee or watching television or cooking our brunch. I opened the door and something inside me felt heavier, again. I know that I should've had my peace knowing all the reasons behind him leaving, but I can't find it. And I know that only him can fill the gap.
He always does even when years passed. Hindi na talaga ako natuto tang ina.
I go on with my life going back to the same routine I had when he's not here. I go to work, party sometimes, and go home tired and wasted. Until I did not notice that it has been three months since the last time I saw him.
"Hi, Pierre." Pagkuha ni Thamara ng atensiyon ko. Naging maayos na muli kami. Hindi ko na siya muling nilagawan pa dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi pa ako handa, ulit. Pero kahit na ganoon ay naging maayos ang samahan namin na dalawa. We just moved on and go back into being friends.
"Hi, Tham. Why?"
"I was just wondering if you will have some time later. Nagkayayaan ang mga officemate natin, party daw tayo later. It's Friday naman."
"I'll think of it. May lakad ako kasama ang mga kaibigan ko mamaya e."
"That's sad. Anyway, update me nalang. Ingat ka."
"Ikaw din, Tham."
"Thiago! Max! Pierre! " Sigaw ni Kyle at Jacob nang makita kaming pumasok sa loob ng bar.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Light of Midnight (BxB)
RomansaIllumination Series #3 (On going) River Valentino Alvaro came from a well-known family of politicians. He will always have the privilege of getting all the things he wants in his life, except a good and loving family. He always wondered what it was...
