The Light of Midnight (BxB)

Chapter 34

"What do you want for lunch, River?"

"Ikaw na ang bahala, Pierre. I ate too much prohibited snacks last night."

"Alright, 'Ver. Gawin mo muna ang mga gagawin mo. Tatawagin nalang kita kapag nakahanda na."

"Thanks." Aniya bago tumalikod sa 'kin at pumunta ng aming kwarto. Pero bago pa man siya tuluyang makapasok ay huminto muna ito at muling nagsalita. "Mommy and daddy will be here tomorrow."

"Sige. I will someone to help me clean the house. I will also transfer the bed from my apartment here, so you can have more time with your parents."

"So you're not sleeping beside me?"

"I'll sleep on the other room if it is okay with you?"

"Yeah..." At tuluyan ba itong nawala sa paningin ko. Agad ko na rin sinimulang ang pagluluto at minabuti na dagdagan na rin ito dahil kaonti lang ang kinain niya kaninang agahan. 


"Ano pa ang mga ginawa mo sa Spain noong panahon na nagkahiwalay tayo?" Tanong ko sa kaniya sa kalagitnaan ng pagkain namin.

He did not reply. Instead, he just gave a what look. That's instead of repeating the same question, I opt to explain it to him what I asked it. 

"I'm just curious. Like who are your friends, what do you all have in common? Stuff like that, River. And maybe who are the people you have dated?"

"Bakit gusto mo na malaman?" Tanong nito. 

"Am I not allowed? Baka nalilimutan mo na..." I teased. 

"Eto na, magsasalita na. Ang dami pang sinasabi, Pierre." Saka ako nito inirapan. "I made two friends, Diego and Mauricio. Some are just acquaintances, so they don't really matter." 

"Tell me about them." I demanded. Napairap nalang ito muli bago nagpatuloy sa pagkain bago muling nagsalita. 

"Diego and Mau are my work mates before I started the business in which Daddy guided me. Diego is half-Filipino while Mauricio is full Spanish. They know everything about my situation, like everything." 

"Oh, even what happened between us?" 

"Except that." 

"Really, River?" 

He hissed before speaking again. "Fuck it. Yes, even that. Happy?" I just smiled at him so, our talk will not be diverted to other topic because I want to know more. "So yeah, that's just it. Wala na rin akong idadagdag pa." 

"What about your dating experiences?" 

He heaved a sigh. "There's not much to talk about that. Let me eat in peace, Pierre." 

"Dali na, River. Ang tagal na nating hindi nagkukwentuhan oh. Bilis na, gusto ko lang malaman ang 'yung mga nangyari sa 'yo noon." 

"I'll only talk when you promised that you will tell your dating history after." 

"Deal." 

"Wala akong ibang naging kasintahan. Ikaw ang huli."

What he said made my jaw drop. Really? I mean it's not that I don't believe what he said, but man, River Valentino Alvaro? My man, before... did not had any relationship after me? Shit. 

"Are you for real?" 

"What, hindi ka ba naniniwala?" 

"It's not that. It's just, I don't know. It's been more than a decade, 'Ver. How can you do that?" He just shrugged and continue eating. "Gano'n ba kahirap humanap ng ibang tao sa Madrid?" 

"No. Gano'n ka lang kahirap palitan, Pierre. Hanggang ngayon, to be honest." What he said made my heart skipped a beat. Wait, I know that he still have he's feelings towards me, but I did not expect him to be this blunt knowing how I always force him to say and do things. What is happening to you, River?

Without waiting for me to talk he left the table, but before even going into our room he speak once again. "Kaya tigilan mo na ang pagpapaasa sa 'kin, Pierre. Alam ko na lasing ka lang kaya ginagawa mo at nagsasabi ka ng mga gano'ng salita, pero hindi ko mapigilan 'yung sarili ko na hindi ka paniwalaan lalo pa na ikaw lang naman talaga, Pierre. Ikaw lang. Ikaw pa rin." Then he entered the room and left me. 

Nanatili lang ako sa hapag. Hindi ko na namalayan ang oras dahil sa labas na pagkabigla sa lahat ng mga sinabi niya.

I know and I remember what I did. I am aware with all of that, but something is still stopping me on going all out for him. I just want to make sure about it, so he won't think that I am just doing it out of pettiness.

I just hope that it won't be too late for the both of us. That this time, fate will not step in, again... 



Afternoon came and I took a nap after cleaning the house. Tomorrow's the day that River's parents will come here. I already asked Milo for the help of transferring some things in my apartment here. Humingi na rin ako ng permiso kanina kay River na gamitin ang kabilang kwarto, bukas nalang sa mga magulang niya dahil malamang ay marami silang ginagawa ngayon at ayaw ko na makaabala. 

After a while, the bed came and I made sure that fix the whole room before I cook dinner for River and I. Kanina pa ito hindi lumalabas ng kwarto. Hindi lang ako sigurado noong natutulog ako. Wala naman din akong lakas ng loob para kausapin siya muli at hindi ko alam kung bakit. 

I am in the middle of cooking when I heard the doorbell rang a lot of times. Agad akong lumabas dahil baka ano na ang nangyari at laking gulat ko nang makita ko si Thamarra na umiiyak sa labas ng bahay. 

"Hey, Thamarra. What happened to you? Are you okay?"

"I don't know, Pierre." She whispered. "The guy I was dating already had a girlfriend and I don't have no idea about it the whole time. Kanina lang dahil nakita niya kami sa restaurant, magkahawak ang kamay. Pinahiya niya ako, sinabihan nang kung ano-ano. And that fucking guy just left me there. I don't know what to do, Pierre. Wala akong ibang malapitan. I'm really sorry."

Inalo ko ito at hinawakan sa magkabilang balikat. "You did not do anything wrong, Tham. Kung alam mo naman ay hindi ka tutuloy hindi ba? Naiintindihan kita at naniniwala ako sa 'yo."

Without second thoughts, she hug me. And I am caught off guard. I don't want to hug her. Not now when I am thinking of River. But she needed me. That's why as a good friend, I hug her back. 

"Thank you, Pierre." And we stayed like that for minutes. Hihiwalay palang sana ako sa kaniya pero nauna niya itong ginawa. Tinignan niya ako sa mata at ganoon din ang ginawa ko dahil sa pagtataka. My gaze went out of her when I heard River called my name. But as I am about to look at him, he touch my face and forced herself to kiss me. 

Our lips met and the only thing that came into my mind is River. The way he will react once he saw us. I know I am looking for an assurance to myself because I am slowly making my way towards him, but this is not what I expected. Fuck! 

I don't want this. I don't want her to kiss me. I only want, River and now I am sure of that. I am certain now, River. 

"Pierre, sino 'yung ta..." After hearing that, I shoved her to the side, but it is too late because he saw us. "I'm sorry." 

"No, River, wait. I can explain." I said to him as I am walking towards him.

"There's nothing to explain, Pierre. Ano ka ba?" He said like he's not bothered at all. "Go on, do your thing. Hindi ka kasi sumasagot kanina no'ng nagtanong ako kaya tinignan ko na. Hindi ko naman inaasahan na siya pala. Papasok na ako sa loob. Good night." 

"Let's talk later okay? Ayusin ko lang siya." He just shrugged his shoulder and left.

"I'm so sorry, Pierre."

"Please go home, Tham. I can't handle too much emotion right now." 

"Yeah, Pierre. Go back to him. The guy who left you without a fucking explanation!" She shouted. "I almost had you, Pierre. You're the man that I am looking for for years. Kung hindi lang sana bumalik 'yan. Fuck! I hope he dies." 

"Don't you dare say that, Thamarra. You don't know what he's been through!"

"Yeah, I don't fucking know anything, but I don't care, Pierre. Pero kahit kailan ay hinding-hindi kita iiwan. I only dated that guy to show you that I've moved on, pero tang ina. Nandito pa rin ako hinahabol ka." She said as her tears go down her cheeks. "Fucking almost, Pierre! I wish he dies so you can come back to me again!"

"I'm really sorry, Thamarra." I whisper, but she did not hear that because she already stormed out of the gate, drove her car, and left. I understand where she's coming from. I understand why she became like this, but not the part where she will wish someone to die. I did a bad thing to her. Hindi ko napanindigan ang mga sinabi ko sa kaniya. And a sorry won't help to all that. I just hope that everything will get better for the both Thamarra and I.

I already made a choice. And I hope that what she said will not happen, not now or anytime sooner. I can't bare loosing him again. I can't. Hindi ko kaya, hindi ko kakayanin. Especially when I am ready to give myself to him again.

I am in love with River. I fell inlove with him all over again. It did not lost after all. It's always here. Saktan niya lang ako nang saktan. Umalis lang siya nang umalis. Kung babalik naman siya ay buong-buo ko siyang tatanggapin pero sa pagkakataon ngayon alam ko na may posibilidad na hindi na kung gagawin niya muli...



---
Hey, sorry for being MIA. I'm still lost on how I will continue writing because it has been a while since the last time I wrote a chapter for this story. I hope this will do for now. I am certain naman na I will continue writing. Kukuha muna ako ng lakas ng loob lol. 

Thank you for still reading and being patient. It means a lot! <3