Lifesteal incorrect quotes

Untitled Part 14

Mid: *dies*
Cube : Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!
Clown: Bullshit.One month.
Zam: Nah, half a month.
Spep, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Mid: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
*At a dinner party, the guests converse while the host is away* Clown watching Cube screaming, Spep trying to set a sleeping Leo on fire, and Zam choking on air: I don't know either.

Mid: I'm the smartest person in my friend group.
Clown: You hang out with  Zam and Leo.
Clown: It's not as high a compliment as you think.

Mid: We're kind of missing something guys.
Spep: Cohesion?
Zam: Teamwork?
Clown: A general sense of what we're doing?
Cube : And Leo is not here.
Spep: Oh, and that, yeah.

Mid: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Clown: Nope, absolutely not.
Leo: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Zam: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Cube : I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
Spep: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Mid, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarrette.
Cube : But Mid, we don't smoke.
Mid: Cut the crap, Cube . I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.
Mid: *points at Spep* One! *points at Clown* Two! *points at Leo* Three! *points at Zam* Four! *points at Cube * Five!
Mid: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarrette between these two fingers!
Zam: *puts a cigarrette in Mid's hand*
Mid: Thank you. ...Light?
 *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

Branzy: Clown is too tall for me to kiss them on the lips. What should I do?
Zam: Punch them in the stomach.Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.
Cube : Tackle them!
Leo: Dump them.
Spep: Kick them in the shin!
Clown: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!

Mid: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that?Leo: Uh, like what?Mid: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs.Mid: Uh, this is what I look like.Mid:Leo: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE!Mid: Okay, then I want big beefy arms.Hot ones.Clown: I wanna have a cowboy hat!Leo: Okay, arms and hat. * draws them*Zam: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too!Leo: You can't just take Clown's hat idea, Zam! They thought it up all by themself like a good person! Come up with your own thing!Zam: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL!Cube : Put Zam on one of those stupid baby tricycles.Zam: NO!!Leo: Tricycle, done. * draws it* Spep, want anything?Cube , making finger guns: Pew pew.Leo: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Spep.Spep, making finger guns: Pew pew.Leo: You know what, okay. * draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

Mid: Clown, let's go!Clown: Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter.Mid: Okay, you know what? That's it, you had your chance.Clown: What-?Mid: Mom, Dad, Clown smoked pot in college.Clown: You are such a tattletale!Clown: Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was Zam who was smoking the pot but... It was me. I'm sorry.Mid: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboy's, Clown did.Clown: Yeah, well, hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing Mid did.Mid: Clown hasn't worked for a year!Clown: Mid and Zam are living together!Mid: Clown married Branzy in Vegas and got divorced AGAIN!Spep: I love Jacques Cousteau!Leo:: I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!Cube :: I wanna gooo!!

*At a dinner party, the guests converse while the host is away*
Clown: So how do you know the host?
Mid: They were a former vegan, and they bought milk.
Zam: That BITCH!
Spep: I pulled them over for money laundering.
Cube : I'm chaperoning their dinner party.
Leo: They stole a baconator!
Zam: That BITCH!
Clown: I tanked the store they were managing and they convinced me to quit from one of the only jobs I've ever had. Now I'm living off of unemployment checks and fear!

Mid: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Clown: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
Mid: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Leo: Actually I did the math, Clown would have $225, not $0.15.
Clown: Fam I'm right here....
Zam: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Mid: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Zam: Sorry I only have a dollar
Mid: :(
Leo: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Clown would have $22, 500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Zam: If I had $22, 500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Leo: You can buy anything you want with $22, 500
Cube : Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Leo: Apply juice to what
Spep: Directly to the forehead
Clown: Great chat everyone

Mid: We have a problem.Leo: Let me guess, you caused it?Cube : Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.Spep: And it's another Tuesday, your point?Clown: Would shooting you solve this problem ? No ? Then shut up.Zam: If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.